with most of my friends on the verge of getting married and my sister's infamous operation HANGMAN.. i have heard about billion possible guy/girl suitors for my friends/sister. today, just today i heard my mother say "he's a good straight forward guy without any bad habits." and i over heard my mother brag about my sister saying "oh yea, she's a good sedhi sadhi girl and she's never had non-vegetarian food, and no bad habits"
so with all the things that families look for in a SUITABLE GIRL.. i wondered if i would be a suitable girl... lets have a LOOKIE HERE!!!
1. slim girl - hahaha well im a healthy girl who doesnt obsess about being skinny. some traditional indians might call me FAT. so -100 for me
2. pure jain, goes to the temple, believes in god and doesnt eat meat = hmm in the past 3 years ive been to the temple 2 times, i don't really believe in god and I EAT MEAT ... -3000 for me. what oh insanity, i ate meat (insert face with jaw falling out) what a SIN that is, reserves a seat for me straight in hell. never mind the child molesters or people who kill others - me eating a peice of chicken is worse!!
3. doesnt drink or smoke - ive tried cigarettes, and i didnt like 'em... i love my beer and jeager and tequila too much to not ever have it - 200 for me. suddenly the label 'alcoholic' would be attached to my name and my "biodata" would be send to the recycling bin. hahaha
4. monogamous - well that would mean that the guy i marry is the ONLY ONE IVE KISSED and im not saying im a whore, but ive had 2 long term relationships so thats atleast 2 guys too many
-5000 for me. OMG, could you believe what a horrible girl i would be that two other men were with me and it didnt work out? there would be "ahh and oohhs" everywhere... what a UN PURE girl i am? who will accept this "tainted" girl -- oh my oh my!!
5. doesnt go to those "horrible" clubs and bars and dancing with those guys all close. hmm
- 10,000 for me. "rubbing against those unholy boys and girls.. omg soo promiscuous".. yes yes the "slut" title would be put behind my name and again in the recycle bin..
6. respects elders, doesnt talk back and etc... well i do, but i will stand up for my self and most people dont like that already so i'll go ahead and say -100 for me.
7. i have friends that are not all indian and yes i curse and OMG i wear tank tops, gives me the title of "americanized and non-traditional, ill mannered and disrespectful" ahh labeling and judging, how i love thee.
hahaha.. its soo weird, all these things are normal but when parents are trying to fix you up with someone else - these things turn into a big "dark" spot on your supposed resume. here's the WORSE PART - whether you are suitable or not is judged based upon these trifle things. no where was there an effort to actually get to know YOU. your personality has no room when it comes down to picking a potential suitor. other than my "citizenship status" there's nothing appealing to me on my biodata for potential parents of boys. I AM THANKFUL FOR THAT..
its not like you're trying to date someone, its like your're applying for a job and you're judged on a piece of paper. once you find 3 or 4 potential candidates you set up an interview, ask some pertinent Q's and decide based on an hour meeting if this guy's good enough. so i guess just like how i tweak my job responsibilities like "filing and copying" to "management and logging of data". just makes me sound more important eh?
here's some of the tweaking id have to do to make me SUITABLE enough.. lol atleast till the first meeting hahahaha...
so i like non-vegetarian food.. i would put on my biodata - im a connoisseur of food
i like drinking - i would put on my biodata - i like to try new things
i like going out/dancing/drinking and etc- i would put i am culturally sound and adventurous.
hahaha.. well the consensus is i am not suitable and im very glad about it.
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12 comments:
LOL great post!
I think ur SUITABLE in many ways. Cos u r REAL.
All those fake conditions that women really cant stick to will fall apart some day...thats why most Desi marriages fail these days...if they dun fail, they just put up with each other for the sake of culture. Now is it worth spending the one life we get being imprisoned by culture? I guess not.
I like the girl that u r...cos Im the same :)
**im not saying im a whore
ROFL! I can say the same abt me. I have kissed abt 3 guys...all past r'ships.
Good post Choco :)
Keshi.
u crazy woman... u know what my opinion on this is neway
"other than my "citizenship status" there's nothing appealing to me on my biodata for potential parents of boys. I AM THANKFUL FOR THAT.."
im afraid you are wrong! i have heard stories about how 'citizenship status' is the most and only imp thing for a marriage in gujjus! theres one whole khandaan in Ahmedabad, with their trunks packed and double locked, waiting for you to get married!
'well the consensus is i am not suitable and im very glad about it.'
ya.. its all fine now but wait a cpl o years and ur family will get
on your nerves! then you will have to actually lie in ur resume!
gawd! i hate marriages!
so ur best chance is finding a gujju urself. but i have heard all (most) gujju guys r jerks! sorry, but thats what i've heard!
good luck anyways!
@keshi: thanks, although real is not very appealing to the parents. regardless i think i like the way i am, i wouldnt want a boring guy who doesnt enjoy a good beer once in a while or doesnt like to go out and dance for fun or stuff like that..
secondly .. lol yea we're not whore's.. just test drove some equipment that turned out to be "faulty" .. hehehe
@aditi: oh yea.. i know
@nadim: nono no no thats what im saying that my "citizenship status" is THE MOST APPEALING THING on my biodata.. hahaha i think u misunderstood me. family can get on my nerves all they want to - i wont be telling a lie to anyone... lol my parents might tweak the truth, but thats them.
secondly, my family knows it loud and clear that i will not marry arranged. ive said it since i was 21 that they should not bother looking for a guy for me cause i'll die single than marry arranged.
thirdly, i wouldnt know if gujju guys are jerks or not, never dated a gujju before, and its not in my families demands that i marry a gujju. they'd like it, but its not a neccessity.
naah, i understood! but u sounded like u think u are ssafe! so i was warning you, tht tag u have is enuf to get u married, your bad characteristics like independent thinking not withstanding! there are some 'liberal thinkers' who dont mind ur past as long as u r their slave after marriage! so well, just a word of caution!
'secondly, my family knows...' great! but another word of caution, some parents think, children's opinions will change with time so thers no need to fight on it ' right now'! be rest assured, they will, when time comes!
lol! sorry, im taking a lot of liberties here. but u see, my experiences reinforced my belief that parents are blind when it comes to their children's life. they want to make sure u r happy. so much that they dont listen even to you when it comes to ur happiness! sometimes they are right n sometimes not.
abt gujju guys, there was one i knew in univ. he was doin his ph.d and was abt to get married(in a mnth i think). i asked him how he felt. he said "mmm...yes". just that one word! no trace of emotion on his face! on further 'investigation', he said he didnt even meet her! she was in India and his parents wanted a nice 'homely' gujju ladki...!
this isnt abt whether g-guys r jerks... but jus a lil story how things are arnd us...
oh hehe, yes just that tag alone makes me marketable. secondly, u are right - just cause i think my parents understand doesnt mean that they actually dont think that in a couple years i'll come around. thirdly - take all the liberties you want, i like an honest comment or reply. i dont like the fake niceness and what not.
lastly, OH DEAR lord do i know the reality of marriage. believe it or not i have seen it from all perspectives. as in best friends who fell in love, dated and now married, people who were over seas fell in love and now married, married with kids, just married, arranged marriages.. engaged to a girl my friends never met and the first time they met was at their wedding, ive known friends who got to date this girl and engaged in 2 months... and like i mentioned i know of ppl who fell in love and were college sweethearts and now are getting married.
i obviously also know the single side of things or people like my sister and other friends who are being tricked/trapped/annoyed by family members to meet random "suitable" guys....
i have guy friends stuck in marriages, girlfriends stuck..
OY THE WHOLE THING IS REPULSIVE.. i dont know if i wanna stay single, date or ever get married.
sadly, after knowing the guys perspective ... it matches what your friend was thinking. the guys i know arent all indian, they're black, jordanian, white, muslim, gujju, punjabi and sikh - and they werent all born here, some in different countries.. so its not gujju's or anything ITS YOU GUYS!! VERY INDIFFERENT.
cmon! u cant blame just guys! what abt women who wanto marry just for having kids or cos the society or parents want them to?? and still they talk abt romance n complain its missing!!
indifference is not a exclusive property of men!
very true, indifference is not just a quality of the men..
it can be found in women..
for sure...I'd like a fun-loving guy too. Or else I'll just die being married to him!
**just test drove some equipment that turned out to be "faulty"
LOL thats right. Some design-defects :)
Keshi.
Frankly arranged marriage is a sad scene for all the reasons you mentioned. Although they say things are changing
You are so much like me! I love eating and I hate thinking of food in terms of calories and glycemic indices. Yuk. Its better so be plump and happy than skinny starved and sad
Abt Gujju guys...I would just say that most Gujju Mas in law I know (Like my best buddy's ma, my roomie's MIL etc)like Ganthiya preparing, thepla expert non career oriented punyavaan chokri!! But I am sure there are MANY exceptions to that rule in Mumbai as well as in USA.
Worry not...choose your own hubby. ANd I agree with Keshi...you are a REAL girl, no masks. Truth must be the foundation of all relationships!
@keshi: hahhaa design defects are correct. instead of working on the same model.. i turned it into scrap metal and started over.. hopefully to perfect this time ;)!
@varsha: things "appear" to be changing, although unless the people and their believes dont change, nothing will REALLY change.
well i tried thinking of food in terms of calories and i gave up. lol one freaking cookie is almost a meal and i said FORGET IT, i cant give up chocolate =)..
very true.. better to be plump than skinny and starved.
-- oyyy gujju's can be a mess in general.. hahah high expectation of wanting each girl to be like the starving kids from dharavi, but also a perfect homemaker yet educated. educated FOR WHAT??????
and yes... i will be chosing my own hubby even if it takes me till im 45.
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