Monday, June 25, 2007

an eye for an eye...

ok so my internet at home hasnt been working since thursday morning. BOOOO.. we finally got it to work on sunday night after i fought with AT&T for 30 minutes. phew...

but events the preceeded the internet saga were even more interesting. leaving work an old friend calls me to hang out and obviously i jumped on the opportunity. we went to pets smart and played with the kittens and puppies (i wanted to that the little tabby kitten home with me and that yorkie puppy was the cutessttt). but since im not allowed pets at home, i settle with whatever "fun" i can get at petsmart (local pet store where adoptions centers drop off their pets incase ppl wanna adopt).
coming back we decided we'd take a long walk in the prarie path behind. as usual, bee's were pissing me off. i slapped one out of the way. have you ever touched a bee??? ITS SOOO GROSS. they are actually fuzzy. EWWWWWWWWWWWWW
we got off the path after that (grosssssss). then i dont know why, my eye was itchy. so naturally i scratched it and kept scratching it and scratching it and scratching it. it i thought it was just an "itch" that wasnt going away. thinking nothing of it, we went back to the car and drove to get some slurpee's. i stayed in the car cause my eye was pissing me off.
minutes later my friend returns with the slurpees and had this omg are u ok look. i turned around with a annoyed face, so he pulled down the car mirror. lol i scared my self. after all this scratching - my whole eye was RED. when i mean whole eye was red, i mean the whole white part of my eye - had changed colors and was now red. the little pink corner of ure eye all the way on the inside by the nose -- it was swollen into a balloon. i looked like a zombie or well a crack addict high on meth while pumping heroine thru the jugular. it was creepy when i looked at my own eye.
we both suspected that i scratched my cornea and or something even worse (uh ohhhhh).

so we drove to the local walgreens and picked up some eye irrigation fluid and visine for red and itchy eyes. i sat in my friends car with as he irrigated my eye in his car. we emptied two bottles of irrigation fluid and half of the third. we needed to clear out my eye so we could finally see if i had scratched the cornea or not.
THANK GOD i didnt scratch my cornea (phewwww). so what was the damned problem that turned my eye BRIGHT RED AND PUFFY???

i had a small piece of pollen stuck in my eye from a GOD DAMNED BEE that was humming around me on the prarie walk. that little BITCH...
when i say small piece of pollen, i mean something that is barely visible by the human eye. when he took it out and showed it to me.. it took me a while to find it on his finger tips. thats how small it was. but that pollen caused an inflammotory response and since i kept scratching it .. it got worse and worse and worse.

thank god he's in med school (hehehehe) so he knew how to take that piece of pollen out without scratching my cornea or damaging my eye sight. i did bust couple of small vessels scratching soo much, but phew, its all healed by now. its been two days and my eye is still sore from the scratching and being popped open for irrigation and all the other trauma it went thru =(.

so think twice before you shoo off ure next bee!!!!

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

outsiders..

my grad school is in the middle of a neighborhood, houses on either side of the entrance, a mall close by and plenty restaurants around it. its a private school, so it kinda fits in the small neighborhood. after 3 years, im SICK of the school and the campus and well you all know from my previous posts that im sick of the people as well.... hahaha.

so since the past almost year and half we've adopted panera, a local bakery/restaurant as our study place. its nice cause we can be loud and talk there as opposed to the library and well food and drinks are always available. the other part is the OUTSIDERS we come acrosss while studying. see when we study, we study for HOURS at a time. i mean doing breakfast, lunch and dinner at the restaurant, and studying thru 3 shifts of employees. so people come in and go but we're still there -- as time passes - we go crazier and crazier and then towards the end of the day we're not even making sense.

so thats what happened today. we had been studying for several housrs now and we were talking about severing nerves and what happens adn blah blah.. i said "well you wont be able to back hand slap someone... but when do you do that???"
so my friend said "when u pimp slap".. and we couldnt stop laughing cause well NOW ITS THE PIMP NERVE. lolllllll *** you really had to be there to get how silly we were really being**

as we kept coming up with random analogies and correlations to study, the guy sitting next to us couldnt help but over hear our conversation and he too started cracking up. while leaving he said that "even though im a marketing rep, i'll never forget that nerve ever... ". hahaha.
2 days ago, we had a mortage broker leave us his cards .. and he said "well i think you guys are becoming doctors, call me when you get the big houses"

a while ago when we were studying for cardiopulmonary, we actually had a war veteran explain an equipment to us, because he used it everyday to help breathe. once we actually met a medical rep, who gave us cards - incase we needed equipment for patients. that was the coolest thing. we've had insurance agents and lol several wedding planners give us cards or come talk to us. cause obviously we'd need insurance and its assumed have HUGE weddings.

now this is just the good stuff.... we've always had the bad things like: when we're really studying anatomy or certain muscular problems of certain "genital" areas - we get the giggling teenagers and the "oo and aa's" from the younger crowd cause to them its "porn". then we get the parents moving tables cause they dont want their kids to see those kinds of pictures or hear those kinds of things.

all in all, i LOVE THE outsiders that we meet while we spend billions of hours studying cause sometimes it sets in the reality of how long we've been there .... often times it makes me realize HOW GOOFY AND SILLY I AM WHEN I STUDY -- and HOW LOUD we are that almost all the people sitting around us over hear us and leave us with "memrobilia"...
sometimes it makes me feel old when teeniboppers make the oo's and aa's and chat away about "omg and this happend and can you believe it... blah blah blah". but then again i remember the days when i was like that....wait wait, sometimes i still am .. hehehe (the talking thing)...

either way, i love the random people that i run across while studying with my friends and being goofy.

Sunday, June 17, 2007

the inner child

i am very anal retentive about my notes, i dont know why - but i just am. i DO NOT highlight in my textbooks, i DO NOT write in my text books, i DO NOT underline with a pen or any dark objects, no not even a pencil. i find it grotesque. i mean so i think its important now, and i need to study it.. but when i return 10 years from now to look up something, im gonna find a pink, yellow and blue book with highlighter marks and pen scribbles all over. EWWWW

i take notes on the side on loose leaf paper, and sadly im anal about that too. hahahha, i do highlight my notes and write in different color pens ( i love doing that by the way)... i cant however start writing in black and all of a sudden switch to a blue ink cause my black ink ran out. i usually finish a page in one ink or change ink colors ONLY if i cant find highlighters and there's something important that i need to stand out. i have rules about my notes tooo - yes i know im pathetic, but hey - i hang on to whatever compulsiveness i can.

so last summer i let my friend borrow my anatmy notecards and i told him how anal i was, so he'd be careful. WELL being a guy, he OBVIOUSLY wasnt listening... and he highlighted in couple of my notecards and wrote in some :(. when he returned them back to me this summer, oy. you shoulda seen my face, it was like someone just stompped on my toe. do you know that sharp shooting pain when you stub your toe into something or something big and blunt falls on your toes?? that annoying ache ... that just leaves you speechless and IRRITATED and you make that "omg im gonna die" face..
yes thats the face i had, and thats the pain i felt..

so clearly he saw that and well since he's an awesome friend he bought me a whole new set of anatomy cards and this ended up being the new edition too. obviously i still kept whinning cause i was lost in this new edition, since the author rearranged one or two things (annoying). so another friend of mine took me shopping for PENS. now ure thinking .. pens??? how is that satisfying, how that take away the irritation and aggravation?... may be clothes or jewelry or accessories like purses and shoes might be more THERAPEUTIC per say...

but.. actually - i love pens. i doooo.... i love different colored pens and highlighters. i always aim to make note taking more fun, ive been doing it since well 1st grade... its been 14 years note taking and as we all know in india we werent allowed to use fun colored pens, so now its my mission to make notes fun. its not like i can stop taking them, so i might as well make it colorful. hahaha.. and pens have always been my passion. add stickers and colorpencils to the list, geez uve made my day, better yet week.

hahha.. that is the inner child in me, whether it is that im stuck in my "its got to be my way" rules of anal note taking or the fact that colorpencils, pens and stickers make my day.
so whats ure inner child??

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

aaaahhhhhhhh

disclaimer: sorry i havent visited many of ure sites this week.. well keep reading, may be this will explain why!
so first of all, classes started on monday. on monday we had only 2 classes, but within those two classes, we already have 4 group projects to finish with different deadlines and different groups to coordinate meeting times with. now i dont know how many of you have tried this.. going to school 8 to 4, doing homework and papers and then on top of that coordinate group meetings with 4 DIFFERENT GROUPS..

annoying. but does it end there???? oh come on, life would be good if it did. tuesday, i had anatomy. now ive had several anatomy classes before, but obviously i didnt remember it all in detail. the teacher was literally talking at the speed of light. the hand out was confusing. the first hour of class i sat there thinking "im stupid.. how do i not know this yet" .. the second hour a little me was running around in circles yelling inside my brain and the third hour i gave up trying to take notes and just tried to listen and may be let the process of diffusion take over.
this is how hard the class is, DOCTORS actual MD's that have been practicing for YEARS, are taking this as a refresher with ME. they are actually sitting in the classroom with me... thats the level my teacher talks at. kinda unfair eh? that im a student taking a class with practicing doctors and im supposed to be at that level - when they've already graudated, practiced and have got that experience behind them and im just a student.

completely overwhelmed by anatomy and oh wait, i got 2 more group projects to do. rumor has it my last class on friday - we have 2 more group projects to do in that.

MAKING THE GRAND TOTAL : 8 LOVELY GROUP PROJECTS!! YAY!! (not)
oh wait.. theres that 3 year community development project as a professional and since this is my 3rd year - its DUE THIS YEAR. thats another group project --- YIKAYEE!!

AND WELL lets not forget my CASE REPORT. as it says in my curriculum its a developmental activity and my contribution to the world of research and bullshit that i have to type up a case report and have it be publishable material that if a journal accepts it, i get to have something published. yes its super cool, but dude - seriously its soo much work, its RIDICULOUS. the first draft is due oh wait.. yes thats first JULY 13TH.

8 groups projects, + homework + written exams + lab exams + 3 year project + case report
MY BRAINS showing an ERROR: SYSTEM OVERLOAD!!!

Sunday, June 10, 2007

am i a MEAN GIRL??

im gonna lay it out there.. im not all suave with words and all - so here it goes
I FREAKING HATE THE PPL I GO TO GRAD SCHOOL WITH. hate is a strong word, but in fact trust me, I DO HATE THEM. ive tried to hang out with them out of school -- at bars, at coffee shops, i still hate 'em. so why is this coming up now??
well since february 16th i have not been to school. i was on clinicals at the hospital and then i had a month off where i worked my little behind and ofcourse chillaxed ;).. and now after almost 4 months of eternal bliss, i return to that hell hole.
so here it goes and its a long one ahead:
1. ive written about the throat clearing tic in my previous post at the other blog.
i swear i never thought throat clearing of all things would get on my nerves, but she cleares her throat 62 times in a 30 minutes. i swear thats not healthy for you. these aren't little 'ahems", these are killer AAHHHHHHEEEMMMMMMSS. i mean when i sit next to her its like a earthquake in my ear. its horrible and no its not a medical problem - i did ask her that.
it didnt quite go too well when i did (ooopss). what i didnt know, i figured if someone did it soo often something had to be wrong. yea - lets just say after that me and her arent gal pals or anything.

2. "i think im better than you so shushhh". there's this girl in class, she thinks she's soo pretty and little miss perfect, she actually looks down on other people that dont spend hours getting ready in the morning. her and her squint squad of uglies are extremely annoying. just that irritates the crap out of me.. and oh yea, everytime someone talks... she SHUSHHHHS PEOPLE. the first time that happened, i couldnt believe it. excuse me - ARE WE BACK IN 1ST GRADE? who shush's people..

3. i hate the two jokers in class - making fun of everyone, its quite annoying cause everyone thinks "oh they are my friends they wouldnt talk behind my back" and everyone laughs at their jokes. sadly, they talk about EVERY SINGLE PERSON, not sparing even each other. its not the haha kinda laughs either. its the kind that really hurts, that hits that spot you know? its sad, not cause they make fun of people, cause thats how they seek attention.

4. oh then how can we forget the 'engaged and im planning a wedding group". out of 40 people in my class id say 1/4 of them belong to this group. i have really nothing against them, other than the fact that they're soo loud and always meeting in the room i reserve to study. i feel horrible kicking them out, but i reserved it. it says "reserved for paulomee from ___ to ___ " and a time there. so what possess you to occupy the room. then when i kick them out i get looks. they think they derseve the room more cause clearly planning for a wedding is wayy more important than studying. this isnt a one time thing, its a EVERY WEDNESDAY THING. ahhhhhhhh.. u'd think after a month or 2 months they would figure it out. NOPE, its a ritual now.

5. ahh yes, then there's the FREAKS. no no not the im creepy and a goth or something like that. we call them them freaks cause they freak out. i mean obsessive compulsive freaks. they all planners, different colors on the planner mean different things. i would need a planner to follow the original planner. each day is marked on by each note, each note is a different color for each class. each class has a different binder. different colored pens, highlighters, pencils. if you stand by them before a test its crazy. they're all panicking, they all stay up all night studying and dont get me wrong, they had only gone over all the notes 5 times before they started studying for this test. yet they stayed up all night.. and STILL THEY ARE FREAKING OUT. i mean if i stand next to them before a test and they keep throwing out words i HAVE NEVER HEARD BEFORE im gonna FREAK OUT and go in thinking "fuck im gonna fail this.. what the hell did i study" then there goes my confidence and i'll second guess everything on the test and fail it anyways. dont get me wrong, i have a planner and i have highlighters and tabs for classes and shit but if i use blue in more than one class - I DONT GO CRAZY LOOSING SLEEP OVER IT. these people do. its like a crisis ... lol. if this is how you 100's then im quite happy going over my notes 2 times, and getting high B's and low A's. sad!!!

6.then there's this guy. name P. short little kid thinks he's all that. all i get from him is "P and paulomeeeee .. brown and blonde babies.... oooo weee" and seriously its not what he says, its how he says it. to one of my friends whose last name is love, he says "loveeyyy love love... long time no loveeeee" oh dear lord. cheesiness is something he's mastered. so fake, soo annnoying.
this other guy, he's making his way through class by sleeping with one girl at a time. GROSS.

I SWEAR IM NOT MEAN... BUT I REALLY CANT STAND THESE PEOPLE. i have 40 people in my class.. of them i like about 4 people and i can stand another 5 to 10 people. its horrible. may be that i spend 8 hours a day + projects and hw with them for 2 years in a row. i mean with the same 40 people - you can get only so many combinations.

am i really a MEAN GIRL - for hating on everyone??????? its pretty pathetic when the im not dreading the "education" part of going back to school tomorrow the most. the thing i dread the most is that after 4 lovely months of bliss i will see all these people again. lol i havent even started on how annoying and creepy my professors are.. may be i'll save that for another day.

Thursday, June 7, 2007

if its not broke.. dont fix it

hmm if its not broke... dont fix it. interesting phrase and applies to soo many facets of life. for example - my lovely lovely digital camera, been my life for about 2 years i think and things were just MORE COLORFUL and VIBRANT after that. i remember the first day i took a picture of me and well i didnt like it, i could just delete and take another one.. and another one.. and another one and my did i loook good after the 45th shot. hahaha
so as me and my precious were having fun one fine sunny day, i figured hmm i wonder what this does.. and i pressed it by mistake. i wanted to take it back and i guess u cant undo it. so i "set it to default". then everything turned DARK and i mean literally. my LCD screen was black and all the pictures came out black too. i had taken pictures in a dark bar before and they had turned out phenominal. i couldnt shoot a video of my daddy snoring while watching TV with the room light on.
i was soo disappointed. i tried to ask my dear sister, who owns the same camera - nothing. i asked my brother.. nothing. then i tried to take pictures of the rose i recently planted. it was sunny out, but yet my picture was pitch black.
scared i ran to my tech genius friend, he was busy :(. so i sat there for 2 hours manipulating each button. the nerd that i am, i recorded the difference it made in the picture quality every time i changed something... finaly i figured out the problem and fixed it.
SO ... lesson learned.. if it aint broke -- dont fix it.

which also brings me to the other side of this if its not broke dont fix it thing. so me and a friend we've been trying to catch up lately... doing fine. having a good time talking here and there and MY DUMBASS BRINGS BACK THE PAST AND TRIES TO CLEAR EVERYTHING. quick recap... i was friends with this guy since sophomore year of college and well we grew apart my senior year and kinda stopped talking after graduation. so like i said my dumbass tries to bring up the past and clear things - why?? dont f'in ask me.. everything was going just fine and we were catching up and having a good time. i just thought that if the past was cleared too, we could really move on and be good friends again. IT BLOWS UP IN MY FACE... he blames me for telling his girlfriend he cheated on her. well they both were my friend, i actually knew her a little before i knew him. they started dating a year after i was friends with both of them.. but come on. id want someone to tell me if my bf was cheating on me. this is why we kinda grew apart.. and it blew up in my face again. i figured it had been almost 3 years... he'd be over it, especially since we were doing so well again.
NOPE..

so lesson learned.. IF IT AINT BROKE... DONT FIX IT!!!!

Saturday, June 2, 2007

curious toy

my new toy...

yup thats meeeee!! sorry lol dont y'all get scared now, thats also me without any make up. although for some reason, i hate wearing make up in the summer ... feels all YUCKY to me. i sweat like a pig too (haha not very appealing, but oh well).

but here's my new phone - motorolla krazr. ok ok most of you might have already had this phone for a while, but i just got it, and its NEW TO MEE! its got a gay ass cover on it, because the moron lady told my naive mom that the screen was glass and if i drop it it'll shatter. ok it is a glass screen on the outside cause of the mp3 player controlls and all and i DO drop my phone pretty often, but i hate covers. they're soo fugly looking. oh yea i went there.. but im making my mom happy for a couple of days by keeping it on.

UPDATE: that guy, he did ask me out. he said and i quote: "well since u kinda know i have thing for ya .. you wanna hook up"
HMM EXCUSE ME? no i dont wanna hook up with you.. ughh. whatever happened to the good old "lets meet for some coffee or watch a movie or grab some dinner". im all for the moving forward in this fast world so lets cut to the chase but it aint that fast and i aint easy. so i declined his offer graciously and said "nah.. but thanks for asking". hahaha. curiousity makes anything look appealing doesnt it?? i mean just cause i was waiting to be asked, and i was curious... i let my mind imagine things and well he sounded appealing to me. clearly - im glad reality set it REAL QUICK. hahahaha..

hmmm i wonder, how much role does curiosity play when people really do start dating. sometimes you just ask someone out cause you never think she/he will say yes.. and they do and you go with it. curiosity does make someone do weird things.... curiousity in higher doses creates stalkers or "silent friends" in mine and fellow bloggers lives. if someone gets too curious about whats on the other side, it can make a cheater. it can also make you achieve things you never thought you could. curiosity made man discover new land, make new inventions, create technology..

ME.. i can be plenty curious sometimes. haha, yes ive "researched" some people online (by that i mean tried to find anything and everything i could without getting caught... lol) ive also planted a virus that detects key strokes on my laptop, which is how i found out that my ex was a cheating bastard. i was curious.. and damn glad i was. lol then i got all his passwords and fucked him over by changing them. hahah he was late in all his payments and couldnt access his phone for months. what payback is a bitch and he shouldnt have cheated on me. ive also done some digging up of dirt via friends of friends -- what girl hasnt. if u dont get the truth from her, u ask her friend, who just happens to not be able to keep a secret (hahahaha).

isnt curiousity the main ingredient behind gossip??? its something isnt it.. and its weird how sometimes, its the only driving force you have. makes me wonder.. how curious are you?? now now be honest!!