you know its soo timely that vik did his recent "famous" post on extra marital affairs. recently with unwelcome proposal from my first ex to have an "affair" with him before his marriage, my second ex married and ready to be divorced, my good friend marrying someone he's not madly in love with and my other friend marrying someone he's cheated on REPEATEDLY <-- with all of this madness i have some friends in relationships that are just not suitable.
then i have a friend whose having an affair with her married boss. uh oh!! something i dont approve of, but i see it, i hear of it. so its not that i've seen it only from one side, ive been on both sides. i know a friend whose divorcing her hubbie because he cheated, i know a friend cheating on someone's hubbie. i cant make decisions for people, so im certainly not the one to judge.
then i have a friend who think she's too good for all the guys, no one's quite good enough. the man she's in love with has kids and no marriage. i know a friend who doesnt do relationships - only one night stands. i know someone who knows that the guy she's with cheats on her repeatedly, but stays for the comfort, the label of having a bf, for that self esteem boost that someone "loves" her. i know a couple in a marriage, where the guy stays at work till 8pm so that he only has to see his wife for may an hour or so before he goes back to bed. he has a small TV at his desk at work, HE DOESNT COME HOME.
i see that all around me. i see this madness, this spectrum - everyone in different aspects of their lives. everyone wanting something, but are stuck in something else. especially all the ones that are married. every single of my friend that is married or on his/her way to marriage, was in a relationship that was dysfunctional (i.e cheating, fighting, abuse, disrespect or in love with someone else).
ALL OF THEM ENDED UP MARRYING THE OTHER BECAUSE THEY HOPED THINGS WILL WORK OUT. HOPPPEEDDDD
HOPE???? i dont mean to be a buzz kill but HOPE is not something you base ure WHOLE FUTURE ON. i know i know --- u gotta have hope. but COME ON!! what are the chances of something working out when ure entering it with so much negative. lets face life shall we??
lets all grow up and really WAKE THE FUCK UP. do you really think changing the TITLE will change ure relationship??
its still u, its still him - if it doesnt work at bf/gf - you HOPE it'll work with fiance added?? if it doesnt work as fiance - you really HOPE that it'll work with the added title of "husband and wife". ITS STILL THE SAME PPL - you and him. you should be able to make it work regardless of any title. hope - nothing to do with it.
personally - im not excited with where i am in the spectrum of my life, but im DAMN happy im not anywhere near these people. i would love to be in a relationship, but im happy im not in a bad one heading to a marriage or stuck in a bad marriage heading to disaster. so all you people whining about being single... STOP IT. be happy that u arent stuck in a bad relationship or marriage.
DONT SETTLE - why should u? not cause ure better, cause u and him deserve someone good and compatible. dont be in a relationship for SELF ESTEEM , make sure ure HAPPY WITH YOU BEFORE U ENTER ANY RELATIONSHIP.
if u wanna change you, CHANGE YOU FOR YOU, not for someone else. the spectrum of life isnt that good around me.
MY WHOLE POINT - its not that UNCOMMON for disasters that you see in the drastic indian tv series to happen. they happen in everyday life - such as the life of MOI. these are the adventures lived by other commoners in my life.
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7 comments:
Oh Smarty, Can pretty much accept everything you said. About the guy at work late night, I have seen such characters at work too when I was in the US. About the status claim "I have a BF" or "I have a GF", it is so weird knowing that they are not pairing up at all but yet hanging along coz you have someone who says he "loves" you - superficially. Emotionally drained to accept that you are still single. Fine characters.. but wonder why.
About all the infamous relationships that you have said, it is so true that they exist and bite people the wrong end of the body. I am glad what you said. Marriage is one thing and belief and respect for the partner is another. Unless there is a common chord struck on each of the said grounds, I think hurrying into the marriage is not a good idea at ALL.
Even more worse is the "Arranged Marriage" thingy going along in the Indian part of the woods. Way scary that arranged I tell ya.
I think it is all about being truthful to self preserve any relationship. And for that we really have to be in a good sense and feeling happy too.
Glad you are still safe :-) Hava gud weekend and I can't imagine we are almost into Monda.. Damn..
May be a blonde joke would be a nice way to go about to calm our senses when we get so articulative about our thoughts. So here we go.
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small town in Arkansas .
With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blond jokes.
Suddenly, a blond woman in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting:
"I've heard enough of your stupid blond jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being?
"It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community,
and from reaching our full potential as a person. Because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blonds, but women in general... and all in the name of humor!"
The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blond yells, "You stay out of this, Mister! I'm talking to that little shit on your knee!"
well this is a first in history... we actually agree. hmm weird, i was all ready to pounce ;)! just kidding.
interesting joke... most times i do agree about the "blondes". even though they can be SMART, sometimes the things they say - make me wanna wonder.
arranged marriage is why one of my friends is getting a divorce and the other is plunging in blindly. scarryy!!
wut a brilliant post Choco! Loved every bit of it. U said it the BEST!
**then i have a friend whose having an affair with her married boss.
uh oh I see TROUBLE.
Like u said, Im not at a best time in my love-life either, but Im sooooo glad Im not in any of those icky situations that they r in! HELL NAH Im not that shallow.
U gotta HOPE for the best but u cant walk into something knowing that it aint the RIGHT thing.
Keshi.
yep its at times like this that the soap operas dont seem all that far fetched after all
@keshi: thanks much =)."U gotta HOPE for the best but u cant walk into something knowing that it aint the RIGHT thing."
VERY TRUE.
@aditi: sad huh? well that is life i guess.
loved this post choco! had the same thread of thought in my head too...
i don't get people who wud want to stay on with a guy who repeatedly cheats on her!
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