so not too long ago i was driving to school early in the morning listening to my favorite talk show, DREX in the morning on Kiss FM. so the topic was "whats YOUR number"? now now i havent quite done research on this...
so the talk show host said... from an university in sydney australia, a professor conducted a research on how many partners or relationships you should have before you know WHAT YOU REALLY WANT. this also had a 75% chance of succeeding and lasting forever.
so now you wonder, whats the number eh? well what do you think???
how many relationships or sexual partners should you have before you find out WHAT YOU REALLY WANT.
the magic number is 12!!!
NO, wait. STOP. its not that im saying that you have to sleep with 12 people and the 13th will be the one. its not that im saying that you have to date 12 people and the 13th one will be the one. im not even saying that this is etched in stone or anything.
well technically im not saying anything. the research stated that on average you have to date/sleep (for some that comes together and for some it doesnt) with 12 people to know WHAT YOU WANT IN THE PERSON you want to marry and settle with forever. after every relationship you learn something. you learn what was good and what was bad. you learn what to repeat and what not to repeat. so all the research is saying that after you make this mistake 12 times.... you'll really know what you want in MR. RIGHT.
they say keep a list, keep changing it after every relationship, because like i said after every one you learn something new. you can delete something, add something --> after 12 of them, you'll have a SOLID list of what you really want. then look for someone that has atleast 7 of these TOP 10 characteristics. you can have all the characteristics you want.... the top 10 count the most.
thats your MR. RIGHT!!! or i guess MISS. RIGHT for the male readers.
now you also noticed i didnt say MR.PERFECT. i dont believe in anyone being perfect!!! no one is perfect, everyone is human. even the guy that you will marry and fall deeply in love will have something that you might not like. but since you love that person, you let it go.
yes, there are always some people who get it right in the first try or in the first couple tries. lol for people like me and perhaps my sister and all ..... those of us that have tried a couple times and still no luck -> well ladies, lets start our lists.
so here's what ive learned from my 3 relationships and here's what i want in a man for now.....
1. trustworthy --dont want him using my weaknesses against me - manipulation sucks
2. LOYAL!!!!! -- cant have a cheater
3. DEPENDABLE -- lol dont wanna be stranded on a airport at 4am, he has to be there for me.
4. understanding -- i do tend to blow up often, i also have a past like everyone.
5. patient -- i talk ALOT.. i mean ALOT
6. goal oriented -- no body wants a scrub
7. financially sound - hate a man who doesnt know about money management and things
8. EDUCATED - i will be a doctor, id like someone i can hold an intelligent conversation with too
9. respectful/and backs me up - even if he doesnt agree with me, he has to stand up for me in front of strangers. i hate it when your man takes someone elses side. ure my guy, stand up for ME. respect me even if u dont agree with me. im not talking about a silly arguement. im talking about something big. me and him can settle our differences in privacy but in front of ppl... we're a together front.. always!!
10. tall -- sorry, personal preferance of a guy taller than 5'7
and he also has to love hugs!!!! i love hugs!
remember 12 is just a number some lady found in australia. its the concept i agree with... its true -> like i said, you learn something new from every relationship you have. thats the concept that the lady from australia is also trying to get through. sometimes you strike gold and get it right in the first time.. and hey good for you!! i say the less the # the better, but some of us arent that lucky..
my list has changed by how i rank some characteristics. clearly i didnt think loyal was that important. i thought it was understood that you have to be loyal. well i rank it up high, cause someone cheated on me. dependable - same thing. you only learn from your experiences OR so i believe.
so whats your list???? what have you learned - good ? bad? do you believe in the underlying concept??
DISCLAIMER: SORRY FOR THIS COLORFUL POST. LOL I FELT LIKE ADDING COLOR, I DONT KNOW WHY. secondly, keshi - i totally thought of you when i was listening to this talk show, because just the days before i had read ure post about "how i met your sucker" and then it was the night after i had posted my post abt "single and oxymoron".. and since the lady was from australia...
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12 comments:
posted erlier comment cause i felt like what i said, i didnt kno u wud feel so much offended, which i didnt mean to :D!!
and we shouldnt lose our sense of humour should we? hehe
seems u dont want me to express what i truly feel n i better stop commenting altogather...but u cant deny somebody else's feelings
endevourme: its ok to express how you feel and what you feel, as long as you dont come out making assumptions about me.
you most certainly dont have to stop commenting. i never did deny ure feelings - i said i respected it in my later comment.
just dont like assumptions made about me.
o cool..Aussie lady reminded u of me ha :)
Ur list rocks! Just that Im not too sure its gonna be easy to find him LOL! But it isnt IMPOSSIBLE. He's ard somewhere...
**DEPENDABLE -- lol dont wanna be stranded on a airport at 4am, he has to be there for me.
LOL I rem that incident of ur's...wut a loser he was. Sorry for using that term on him but I cudnt help it.
**respectful/and backs me up -
thats VERY imp. Alot of men (our kind) u'stand that but dun act upon it.
I love ur list and I wish u all the best in finding that Mr.RIGHT.
MWAHHHHHH!
Keshi.
Choco I hope Endevourme doesnt stop commenting here cos of me. Im sure I didnt mean it that way when I commented in the other post as a reply to his comment there.
**seems u dont want me to express what i truly feel n i better stop commenting altogather
HUH! I didnt gather that from ur reply-comment to him in the earlier post. U were so polite and u expressed ur views very clearly n welcomes criticism too.
I really dun u'stand why some ppl take it so personally and call it quits when the situation is really not that.
Anyways I hope Endevourme continues to comment here.
tnxx!
Keshi.
aiye for the colors.. its horrendous for someone reading in a white background
the rest...sigh what to say yeah it takes trial and error.. and the more u go through relationships the more u know the kind u do not want..
i am finally leaving a comment even though i dont really have a comment about the post but i can tell you that i am that loser that you speak of and you dont have to be sorry for using that term it is well justified.
Anony...if ur the one who left Choco stranded at the airport at 4am, then u had better hv a pretty good reason WHY. Cos no girl deserves to be treated that way.
Sorry abt using the term LOSER. I just had to. Even tho I dunno WHY u did such a thing.
Keshi.
wow.. serious argument, I love this . Here's my story, I have a point as to why it makes the people abroad come to a lucky figure of 12. Aussies lose their vi*inty at the average age of 15 when to everyone - boy and a girl, everything is smoke and mirror. So until they get sane enough, you would have easily seen a dozen of relationships with the opposite sex. Without sounding rude, at this point of time they are over the hill called "physical-passionate- feeling". So technically they number might sound staggering to start with "12".. But like you said you can always strike gold even in your first relationship or the Mr. Perfect ** close enough ** would show himself/herself in your 30th. So bottom line is to cajole yourself to the extend of sacrifice you are willing to make to make a relationship work. Seriously, being successful enough to attract someone to bed in itself is a big PLUS to me.. LOL.
But that is the point, the lucky nyumber 12 need not be a standard draw from everyone in every walks of life. Considering their ethos I think they chose to hit 12.
I wish you best as the list that you have mentioned here seems to be a straight forward one without too much of expectation. There should be lotsa fishes in the oceans fitting that bill, I reckon..
On a lighter note, I think I fit about 9 of your points. Did you mention EDUCATED??? Damn.. I hate you.. LOL
Peace mate.
Cool colors, interesting post!!
Yes, it takes time (and often certain number of relationships) to know what you want in a man and most importantly, what you DONT want in a man.
Very few get it at the first go.
@keshi: haha, yes an aussie lady reminded me of you. thanks, and yes it is a fairly and sadly impossible list to find.
but he's gotta be somewhere right???
lol hopefully!!
its ok, you can use that term "looser". he mostly deserves it.
yes, ure right, alotta men understand and dont act upon it. idiots, they jump up for a fist fight anytime, but to jump
up and defend ure woman, well somehow seems impossible.
THANKSS!!!
secondly - no im sure endevourme isnt gonna stop commenting here because of you. i think its because i said "im gonna
ignore this comment for now".. i did however reply back later - and i did also acknowledge that i was open to criticism
-- i dont know why he took it too personally either.
well we'll see..
@endevourme - u are always most welcome here =)
@aditi: hmmm why u reading in a white background??? my background is supposed to be BLACK!!
yes sadly it is trial and error
@anon: well yes, finally after 5 years of reading through various journals of mine, i am graced with a comment from u.
haha.
well sorry, but i do agree with you - it was well justified. look forward to having more comments from ya
@keshi: oy, mostly i dont know why things happened the way they did. but shit happens and again, dont be sorry for using
terms. ure right - no one deserved that.
@vik: haha, yes serious serious it is. lol - usually my journals arent this serious. although, i see u like drama!!
and now now... i wouldnt go generalizing about aussies loosing virginity. (oh nothing's censored here...)
people in india loose their virginity just as young too - its just not said out loud. people EVERYWHERE loose their virginity
young at this day and age. and people everywhere have "racked up' that high of # if not higher.
and oh.. i dont like the word mr.perfect. haha i prefer mr.right, cause no one's perfect.
hahaha... yes getting someone to bed in its self is a BIG thing.. hahaha
it is about how much ure willing to give and take for the relationship - i.e sacrifices..
thats where ure wrong mr... there arent too many men that fit that criteria. even though the criteria is really simple and like u
said straight forward -> many fine men fail to meet it.
ahhh 9 out of 10 you say??? hahaha... lol and yes, i did say educated.. ;)!!
@ash: 'tis true... most importantly what u dont want in a man - yes, that does take some time. =)
interesting post and the theory too...
but i cant believe some people put time and effort into all that to try to get a number.
i think one needs to be clear-headed and know what he/she wants. i mean making mistakes 12 times is well...ok...but for me that wud mean a helluva emotional baggage. id rather focus my energies on other productive things. just making mistakes once is a strain... knowing wat u want wud make it a lot more easier! :)
lolz ok..tnxx girl!
Keshi.
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