so like my sister said in her post paryushan again that our paryushan ended on saturday and it was that time of the year for saying micchami dukkadam. please refer to her post, micchami dukkadam for what that means in depth. it just technically means that you forgive and forget things when someone says it to u and ask for forgivenes from someone by saying "micchami dukkadam" ure self. BASICALLY start off with a clean slate... atleast thats how i look at it...
so i had been thinking about it.. i havent said it to anyone this year. i decided that this year on, im only gonna say if i mean it. therefore, i havent said it to anyone yet.
in my long long long hours of thinking i could come up with a list of people i wanted to really say sorry to.
1. family - well my mom's a super mom with all the meals ready whenevery i want, whatever i want. she even wakes up at 5am sometimes to make me coffee when i have finals.. she does my laundry without asking and well helps me clean the MESS of a room i have =).. my dad, he's always there. he's like my little financial calender and accountant. hehee.. i write the checks, and he deposits them or mails them in and well sometimes he even pays my bills for me =). if i ask for a binder, he'll buy me 10. hahaha... if i complain there's no chocolate one day, i'll have 3 packets the next. i've always gotten more than i asked for from him, even though he has struggled enough to give it to me. hmm my brother, i definitely dont give him enough credit for being the awesome brother that he is. he works SUPER hard at work... and still comes home and listens to me whine some most occasions. he's one of those "nice guys". he treats his girls like a LADY... and I LOVE THAT ABOUT HIM. he's been hurt and used before, but yet, he's a gentleman. i really respect that about him, because well we all know how hard it is find a good guy. my sister -- well she is pretty nice. listens to me whine, bitch, moan and what not - not only on this silly blog, but thru emails, voicemails, phone calls, online msgs, chat, and lol if i could, i would leave her text msgs as well. hahahaha..
she's always there to cheer me and tell me im awesome.
SO I ask for forgiveness if i have hurt any of my family members this year, and im sure i have.
lastly, im not trying to be all great and awesome, but i wanna also forgive and forget two things that happened to me in the past year:
1 - being cheated on by my bf of 4 years, having that girl be his fiance and them getting married within days. the details are in SEVERAL previous posts, what that was pretty drastic shock. although, he rescued me and flew me back when i was stranded at the airport. so since then ive tried my best to come to terms with what happened and forgive and forget it all. his wife is also suffering from multiple sclerosis, so ive been helping him out with medical stuff. so im glad, i can forgive and forget that -- i never thought it would be in me to do so.
2. - being stranded at the airport. lord knows u guys have heard about that several times. i want to forgive and forget that. i've spoken to the guy after this... we've talked about it and well EVERYONE IS ENTITLED TO ONE REALLY REALLY SHITTY DECISION IN THEIR LIVES. this was his. i know ive made some really shitty decisions in my life that have affected other people poorly, so i had to let go.
ive also realized that its better to let go. im not saying right away.. geez me and my ex broke up in june of 2006, and its september of 2007 - and im finally TRYING to forgive and forget it. TRYING BEING THE KEYWORD. so u gotta be mad initially, cause if ure not, that will give the person the right to walk all over you any number of times. u gotta be mad, and u gotta keep ure space away from that person, but whenever ure ready to let go, u should. its not good for you to keep grudges for ever. when you hold a grudge for ever you tend to become bitter - no reason to be bitter. =).
so there's my micchami dukkadam to all, its a week late, but better now than never right? and atleast i TRUELY mean it this year.
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6 comments:
it was a heartfelt post choco and touched me in a way to want to let go of many things myself too...
i agree with u abt michhami dukkadam, that u say it only wen u feel it honestly.
hope u have a happy year ahead! take care :)
Chocko,
You are a nice girl and Michamie Dukaadum would work and would be heard by your folks. I think it is not that they would have felt bad but when they hear such self-corrected words like "I know I could have been better but I chose to remain best..", your folks would be uber cool and would love you more.
BTW, you did not Michamie Dukkadum to me :-( for all the innocent bashings that I have got, I just cannot sleep peacefully anymore. LMAO :D
But seriously you done good. Life is all about that will to put your hands up and say I am sorry. I am a relentless bugger when things go wrong and would call spade a spade no matter who it is and it has gotten me into lots of trouble and it was the Family and close ones that come to your rescue and so to them if you are able to say sorry then you got a heart of gold and just when I thought it was getting lonely really lonely up in the mountain for Good People, I see you almost there. Keep up the good work :D
I am glad to hear that you are trying to move on. I don't know under what circumstance you had a bad relationship. Don't even want to know and would not even dare to ask. But the simple fact, smarty, I don't say this to all. I take the liberty with you knowing you are a straight shooter. It is always easier to play the victim of circumstance. How about seeing if you had a small part of something that you thought would and could change you more for your own better. That way, it would be Michamie Dukkadum to yourself, to your best bud, and that would surely go a long way when you invest in your next relationship.
Having said that I am not meaning to say the fault was with you, just a thought on how it can be re-written that is all.
OK I am now off to the temples to start praying coz your response to this post is sure going to fry my balls :-(
Take it easy mayte, I like this word - Michamie Dukkadum. :-)
I forgive the world - Michamie Dukkadum :D
thats a very GRATEFUL post Choco. Sweet too :)
Mums r the best ha!
** being stranded at the airport. lord knows u guys have heard about that several times. i want to forgive and forget that
lol ur cute! And I agree...everyone's entitled to a shitty decision or 2! Well-said.
Keshi.
hmm i love u long voicemails apart.. and yeah michami dukkadam to u too..
Awww...that was sweet!
@trinnie: thanks. if you overuse a term - it doesnt mean anything after a while.
@vik: im gonna just choose to not reply, i dont think i have enough space to say what i wanna say.
@keshi: mom's are the best, 'tis true. oh ive definitely made mistakes in my life that im not too proud off.
@aditi: LOL YOU LOVE THE LONG VOICEMAILS TOO.. its a secret passion you hold. hahahaha
@ash: thanks =)
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