insane in the membrane...

ahh this is a suitable topic for many many many reasons..

apparently, the naive person that i am, i didnt know that there are people who smoke pot in the 10 min breaks in between classes at my school.
ok lets set some things straight here. what you do you on your own time DOESNT MATTER TO ME. if you choose to smoke pot after school at ure home or on the weekends - i could care less. thats your body and your brain that you voluntarily choose to destroy and hey, go right ahead - none of my damn business. BUT WHEN YOU CHOOSE TO SMOKE POT IN BETWEEN CLASSES??? that's moronic and stupid on whole different level. i mean think about it IDIOTS -
YOU WORKED FOR 23 YEARS TO GET TO GRADUATE SCHOOL.. uve busted your ass for 3 years in this hell hole. your passion is to treat people and make them better and you are throwing it all down the drain because ure too pussy shit to handle the stress at school ...
geez, wait the 8 hours and go smoke at home for goodness sakes.

in our rules and policies for school, it says any drug abuse and the student will be expelled. you have about 100,000 of loans hovering over ure life so getting kicked out because of smoking pot seems like the stupidest idea in the world. what you gonna do once ure kicked out??? smoke more pot to mellow out? how you gonna fund that habit? get a job? HAHA HOW? ure a pothead now. its on ure resume. where u gonna get the money to pay those loans back???

so what school is getting too hectic. GROW THE FUCK UP AND DEAL WITH IT. geezzzzzzz....
what are these people gonna do in the real world and at work?? smoke pot between patients ??
"oh keep stretching that hamstring.... i'll be right back" YOU ARE IN CHARGE OF LIVES AND URE GONNA SMOKE? most likely if you cant stay away from it at school, you're gonna do it at work. what then? whose gonna be responsible for ure patients? for the lives you are in charge of. are you gonna tell someone's grandchild that their grandpa died because you were smoking at work?

we as health professionals have a duty to stay sober and straight at work. school is work for us right now. if you cant stay straight at school i doubt you will at work. people like these sadden me. as a health professional you take the oath to serve others and put others above you.

i know i might be coming on a little strong about this. like i said i have no problem with people wasting their lives away after school. doing it in between classes is not acceptable. when you cant get away from an habit and it interferes with your daily activities (i.e. people leaving class to smoke pot) THEN YOU HAVE A PROBLEM OF ADDICTION.

most of my friends had tried pot and well looking at me to be honest with you everyone was shocked that i hadnt tried it.
lets see... i have taken my roomie to the ER because she OD'd on alcohol and pot and what not. i've treated people rehab'in from abuse of drugs, ive counseled people and well in the past couple of months ive seen not only the damage it does to the person physically and psychologically, but ive seen the damage it does to the family as well. lastly, ive studied the effects of all kinds of drugs on your brain and body and ive seen brains of drug addicts and compared it to normal brains. ive held 'em both in my hands simultaneously, haha its not surprise that the addicts brain was lighter.
SO NO.. ive never tried it and NO i never wanted to. not only have i seen the effects after death and studied them anatomically and physiologically, ive seem the physically and psychologically. i didnt like what i saw.

what i am trying to say is smoking pot here and there - sure fine. im not judging anyone, but when you have to smoke at school, in between classes YOU HAVE A PROBLEM AND YOU HAVE TO INSANE IN THE MEMBRANE TO DO SO.

say no to drugs!!!!

LONG ASS DAYS

so you all know how long my days are getting... its becoming ridiculous. its pretty sad when you ditch a class to study for that class. does that even make sense???
i ditched anatomy to study for the anatomy practical on friday. the practical is on head, neck, back, abdomen, pelvis, and the good stuff (genitals.. hehehe). today the prof was starting a new topic, so i decided to SKIP it and study for this stuff.
so here's HOW NERDY I AM.. or wait, lets rephrase this. here's how SAD MY LIFE IS and how much life has compelled me to change my habits.
old me: "i have class at 1pm - lets stay up all night and watch movies, or drink!!"
new me:" oooo i have class at 1pm, that gives me the morning to study... yay"
so sadly, me and my friends met up at school by 9am, studied until 11am.
group project and meetings from 11am to 1pm.
1pm to 4pm ditched class and studied (i wish i went to the mall or well slept)
4pm to 8pm tutored
came home.. ate
studied from 9pm to 11pm.

chilling and relaxing before i go to bed and wake up at butt crack of dawn to get to school by 7:30am and repeat another horrendous day.

ITS NOT that i dont manage time. i do, i study on the wekends and im good about balancing fun and work. its not that im procrasinating.....
its that my professors have TESTS, PROJECTS AND MEETINGS alll DUE ON THE SAME DAY!!!
why ------------- ure offices are right next to each other.. FUCKING COORDINATE IT BETTER!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
on a more lighter note... a guy whistled at me today. i turned aorund in disgust OFCOURSE. although, it was nice to get whislted at ;)!!

everything new and old

ok ok... so in the midst of being super busy, i completely forgot to tell you guys:


i recently colored and cut my hair...


so here's the MOI:

the first picture you can see my cut when its natural and curly. thats what the color looks like in the normal inside light. second picture.. you see my hair color in the SUN and well what my hair looks straight.

SO there i am and there's the old news.

so whats the "new" news: welllllllllllllllll the news is that i was asked to be a tutor for the second year class. now now... its not a "omg.. she's soo smart' issue. several of my peers have been tutors for classes before.

although, it is still a BIG thing for me. i remember being the "slow" child in my class in india. i remember needing a tutor, i remember finding things extremely difficult. so now when im on the other side - its different. hmmm may be im not DUMB. lol....

i only have my family to thank. =) they've always been there for me every step of the way. not only there for moral support but been there for me financially when i couldnt take more loans and i needed a new laptop or i wanted to go on a shopping spree. my brother and my dad bought me my new laptop.. my mom's there with the early morning coffee and comfort food. my sister ofcourse, even though she's in a different country - she's there to hear me bitch and whine. lol i wouldnt have gotten into school if she hadnt helped me write my acceptance essay (love ya).

WELL .. im proud to say that im a tutor now- i have not only earned A's and succeded in school, but i have earned enough trust and respect to teach someone else the subject too. lets just hope i do a good job. it would suck to let someone else down and have them get a bad grade because of me. OOPPSS!! (may be my procrasinating lazy - eh its only worth 10% , it doesnt matter attitude isnt that GREAT)

so what else?????? i have less than 310 days TILL GRADUATION!! omg, cant wait!! periodically i'll remind people ... can you imagine me finally done.

whats YOUR number??????????

so not too long ago i was driving to school early in the morning listening to my favorite talk show, DREX in the morning on Kiss FM. so the topic was "whats YOUR number"? now now i havent quite done research on this...
so the talk show host said... from an university in sydney australia, a professor conducted a research on how many partners or relationships you should have before you know WHAT YOU REALLY WANT. this also had a 75% chance of succeeding and lasting forever.

so now you wonder, whats the number eh? well what do you think???
how many relationships or sexual partners should you have before you find out WHAT YOU REALLY WANT.

the magic number is 12!!!
NO, wait. STOP. its not that im saying that you have to sleep with 12 people and the 13th will be the one. its not that im saying that you have to date 12 people and the 13th one will be the one. im not even saying that this is etched in stone or anything.

well technically im not saying anything. the research stated that on average you have to date/sleep (for some that comes together and for some it doesnt) with 12 people to know WHAT YOU WANT IN THE PERSON you want to marry and settle with forever. after every relationship you learn something. you learn what was good and what was bad. you learn what to repeat and what not to repeat. so all the research is saying that after you make this mistake 12 times.... you'll really know what you want in MR. RIGHT.

they say keep a list, keep changing it after every relationship, because like i said after every one you learn something new. you can delete something, add something --> after 12 of them, you'll have a SOLID list of what you really want. then look for someone that has atleast 7 of these TOP 10 characteristics. you can have all the characteristics you want.... the top 10 count the most.
thats your MR. RIGHT!!! or i guess MISS. RIGHT for the male readers.

now you also noticed i didnt say MR.PERFECT. i dont believe in anyone being perfect!!! no one is perfect, everyone is human. even the guy that you will marry and fall deeply in love will have something that you might not like. but since you love that person, you let it go.

yes, there are always some people who get it right in the first try or in the first couple tries. lol for people like me and perhaps my sister and all ..... those of us that have tried a couple times and still no luck -> well ladies, lets start our lists.
so here's what ive learned from my 3 relationships and here's what i want in a man for now.....

1. trustworthy --dont want him using my weaknesses against me - manipulation sucks
2. LOYAL!!!!! -- cant have a cheater
3. DEPENDABLE -- lol dont wanna be stranded on a airport at 4am, he has to be there for me.
4. understanding -- i do tend to blow up often, i also have a past like everyone.
5. patient -- i talk ALOT.. i mean ALOT
6. goal oriented -- no body wants a scrub
7. financially sound - hate a man who doesnt know about money management and things
8. EDUCATED - i will be a doctor, id like someone i can hold an intelligent conversation with too
9. respectful/and backs me up - even if he doesnt agree with me, he has to stand up for me in front of strangers. i hate it when your man takes someone elses side. ure my guy, stand up for ME. respect me even if u dont agree with me. im not talking about a silly arguement. im talking about something big. me and him can settle our differences in privacy but in front of ppl... we're a together front.. always!!
10. tall -- sorry, personal preferance of a guy taller than 5'7
and he also has to love hugs!!!! i love hugs!

remember 12 is just a number some lady found in australia. its the concept i agree with... its true -> like i said, you learn something new from every relationship you have. thats the concept that the lady from australia is also trying to get through. sometimes you strike gold and get it right in the first time.. and hey good for you!! i say the less the # the better, but some of us arent that lucky..
my list has changed by how i rank some characteristics. clearly i didnt think loyal was that important. i thought it was understood that you have to be loyal. well i rank it up high, cause someone cheated on me. dependable - same thing. you only learn from your experiences OR so i believe.

so whats your list???? what have you learned - good ? bad? do you believe in the underlying concept??

DISCLAIMER: SORRY FOR THIS COLORFUL POST. LOL I FELT LIKE ADDING COLOR, I DONT KNOW WHY. secondly, keshi - i totally thought of you when i was listening to this talk show, because just the days before i had read ure post about "how i met your sucker" and then it was the night after i had posted my post abt "single and oxymoron".. and since the lady was from australia...

single and happy - an oxymoron??

its been a crazy couple of months with all my friends engaged and scheduled to get married. everytime i get together with friends to catch up on old times, the NUMBER keeps increasing. everyone brings their fiance's and significant others to the meetings... and i usually FLY SOLO or bring another boy/girl friend with me as a "date". so then the Q's come pouring and they think they're being SNEAKY.. hahahaha

'soooo poojaaa... anyone we should be meeting soon?"
"soooo pooojaa... anyone new?"
'sooo poojaaaa... any hot new guys?"
"soooo poojaaa..."

im sooo used to those Q's .. i already have learned to STOP them before they waste their energy finishing that sentence. i stop them and go

"noo, no new guys. im happy being single.. infact i love it".

i think i should make a T-SHIRT that says "single and happy". why is it soo hard for people to believe that if ure single, you can be happy too. while reading Keshi's post "how i met your sucker" - i could totally relate to what she had to say. WHY, am i gonna go be with the next moron that walks up to me and looks interested - when
1. the chances that he's an ass are over 98%
2. he's probably gonna irritate the crap out of me - i am very very picky
3. HE'S GONNA ADD TO DRAMA TO MY LOVELY SERENE LIFE
4. I DONT HAVE TIME FOR A MAN - i leave home at 7'ish every morning and i dont come back until 8pm or even later. where do you want me to make time for a man??
5. i wouldnt even mind giving someone a chance, if he was HALF WAY DECENT!!!

just like keshi said, most of the men in the market are horny ass's -- wait wait, all of them are. if they're not horny ass's, they are some other kind of ASS.

yes i do have those days when i want someone by me to cuddle with, but who doesnt. lol, even when i was with my ex - he wasnt around all the time. so i wanted someone to cuddle with then toooo. i have the same life i did when i was with someone. currently, its just without any tears, drama and emotional stress.

somehow its not only my friends. even my parents or EVERYONE for that matter. once you're a certain age, its inappropriate for you to be single. WHY????
who says i NEED a MAN to support me??
i have a career - i'll be making more than most men i know.
ill have a car, a house, and everything i want.
dont get me wront, i do WANT a man eventually to spend my life with and all that emotional garbage, but I DONT NEED ONE. i dont even like the fact that people think women NEED a man.

so being single and happy is not an oxymoron, atleast not for me. what about you???
are you single and happy??? or is it just a facade?
are your friends/family annoying like mine??

busy blunders

so ive been quite the busy bee lately -- on a usual day, i wake up at 6:30am -> leave home around 7:15 - 7:30am -> get to campus by 8'ish.. stay on campus, finish up classes and study in between breaks -> after classes i leave campus only to study more -> come home around 9pm.

ahhhhhh too long of days.. stupid group projects and stupid tests. although i did get an A on both my anatomy written and practical. so BOO YA, to the lady who went at the speed of light while lecturing, cause i caught on ANYWAYS ;)... lol busted my butt but i caught on.

so now u read about the busy part -- ure waiting for the blunder part arent u?
here it goes: so when we're in lab this time around, no one teaches you anything. they expect you to remember things because we've had it. its more like a discussion and clinical correlation. so my teacher asks me to point to the femoral a. (in and around the thigh). the body we were looking at, wasnt a body. the head was missing and part of the legs were too. the middle part was sawed in half but the pubic region was kept together - but sawed in half too. (sorry for the graphics).
so back to pointing the femoral A.. i pick up a big artery and try follow it down.. as im following it.. i kept going and going and my teacher says "HMMM URE IN THE VAGINA"
omggggggggggggggggggggg
we all started laughing... OUT LOUD HYSTERICALLYYY!!! cause clearly my fingers and palm were well situated in the womans vagina (cause it was cut i half.. you can follow it all the way up)
omggg!!!!!!!!!!!
he then points it out and says that the big artery i had in my hand was called _______ and it turns into the femoral a once it passes a certain point. but the way he said "hmmm ure in the vagina" was hilarious.

so there it is.. my anatomical blunder.. something that's supposed to be in the thigh - i was sooo busy looking for it I ENDED UP IN A DEAD WOMANS VAGINA!!!

obviously the whole class found out about it and everyone had a good laugh on my expense... i hope u guys werent too grossed out, because that wasnt the point of this post. =)

meaning..

well i have always been proud of the fact that my name means something.. its got substance and im different in that its not that common. ive never really known what IT reallyyyyyy means..
somehow my parents told me or i think they did -- or someone told me that it mean "queen of flowers".. i went believing them...
so as i was bored today.. looked it up on wikipedia. yes i know the source is not the most credible one of 'em all, but its there.. its something isnt it???

so here it goes
In Hinduism (specifically, early Vedic accounts), Sachi (also known as "Indrani" (queen of Indra), Aindri, Mahendri and Poulomi) is the goddess of wrath and jealousy, and a daughter of Puloman, a demon who was killed by Indrani's future husband, Indra. She is beautiful and has one-thousand eyes. She is associated with lions and elephants. With Indra, she is the mother of Jayanta, Midhusa, Nilambara, Rbhus, Rsabha and Sitragupta.

so ... thats what i am... a goddess of jealousy and wrath -- my husband killed my demon father and i gave birth to 6 kids. OY!!! lol i dont know if i like this version or the "queen of flowers" one better.. lol atleast with the flower one i coulda been innocent and cute..
hahaha no no.. this is just like any other soap opera. =).. well any mythology is for that matter. atleast im cool in that DONT U COME MESSING WITH ME.. IM THE GODDESS OF WRATH... boo ya!!
hahahaha i do love lions though.. i really really do. always wanted two pet ones to guard my house since i was little. =) this meaning suits me better than the "queen of flowers" thing. aint nothing cute and delicate about me. im all about the revenge and wrath baby ;)!!

so whats ure name mean?? does it suite you??