first a little story:
so as we all gathered (my friends and I) to celebrate L's b'day yesterday. within a minute of her arriving her phone rang. couple of minutes after that phone call, her head started hurting and she started asking for medication. soon after she went to the bathroom... tied her hair up signaling she's getting hot/uncomfortable and doesnt feel good. she drank alot more water, was very quiet and it obviously accompanied by the "blah" facial expression. she had an answer for everything - why does ure head hurt? "oh i stayed out too late last night, i was out drinking with some friends.." it was a story that was well crafted with a legitimate answer for every Q. soon"L" excused her self and drove home saying that she felt like passing out and couldnt sit anymore.
DEFENSE MECHANISMS.. we have one for everything. she has one for being in an abusive relationship. ahh yes, we've all talked to her about it and she knows its bad, yet somehow she cant break the cycle. its a bad place to be when you are that emotionally unstable that you have to stay with someone just to feel secure. since we've talked to her about it, she's also forbidden to hang out with us. why? cause we're single girls luring her and filling ideas in her head about being "slutty and promiscuous" hahaha - or so her lovely bf says.
it was all fake. the phone call was from that asshole she calls "hunny". its not a physically abusive relationship - it definitely is a MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP, which i see soon turning into physically abusive.
so i ask you - what do you use your defense mechanisms for and whatever you're using it for, is it worth defending???? wouldnt it just be easier if you let out and cry in front of someone, or if you told someone that one secret ure hiding or actually trusted someone again.
who am i to talk, i too have mastered my defenses. THATS WHEN I REALIZED - I DIDNT WANT TO END UP LIKE THAT. i know i have to trust another person SOON because well i cant go through my whole life in defense mode because of some asshole who fucked me up. so i start with you guys...
im still not really completely over what my friend did to me. it stilll hurts knowing someone for 5 years and then being left stranded in the middle of the night without an explanation when you exclusively go visit him. only 6 hours before i boarded my plane we were talking about hanging out and spending time together. when i landed he said he was his way - and never showed up and to till this day, he owes me a real explanation of why he did it and a real apology. it boggles my mind as to how someone can do that to someone they've known for so long.
because of him i am unable to trust people any more... and that well that sucks!!!
sadly i also know that demanding, asking and wanting answers doesnt mean i'll get them. so i just have to realize that sometimes people just do horrible things - well cause they are horrible people. THATS IT.. there's nothing more to it. its really that simple, as hard as it is for me to believe - it really is that simple.
i dont want to be pulling out weird defensive stories 5 years from now like my friend did. i dont want to be in that vicious cycle where im soo unstable i only feel secure about everything in life by being with a jerk who treats me like a door mat. its a twisted logic ... and sadly it happens all the time. i refuse to be a part of it...
so i start with you guys --- cause i dont want to end up like "L". so i hope you guys can start with someone somewhere too. i know everyone's been hurt - thats life.... soo
OPEN UP TO SOMEONE.. ANYONE. IT REALLY IS WORTH YOUR SANITY AND FEELS GOOD TO JUST GET IT OUT !!!
(hopefully it was a good post, thats what i tried to write up yesterday and it got deleted)
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
I WROTE AN AWESOME POST .. AND BLOGGER MESSED UP. SOMETHING HAPPENED.... AND IT LOST MY WHOLE POST AND THERES NO DRAFT THAT'S AUTOMATICALLY SAVED. its supposed to have autosave now.. it automatically saves every oh so often.
there's a draft there from my previous attempts just not this one. (sighhhh) it was a good post too.. and its all gone =(..
i hate you autosave.. i hate you!!
there's a draft there from my previous attempts just not this one. (sighhhh) it was a good post too.. and its all gone =(..
i hate you autosave.. i hate you!!
Sunday, May 27, 2007
apologies..
well ive been looking for an apology from my friend -- you know the guy i thought i was in love with, the one i wrote the poem for.. the one i went to visit in houston and yes also the one who left me stranded in that city all alone at the airport from 11pm to 4am telling me "he's on the way" and not answering my phone calls, voicemails and text msgs for the whole time i was there.
before i had a crush on him.. or whatever - besides that whole mess - WE WERE FRIENDS. friends for ever - so we both agreed. forever seems soo short eh?
so after all this mess.. i was still looking for a genuine apology and an explanation from my friend. i was soo upset and distraught that its been almost 3 months since the incident and i got nothing. how could one be soo non-chalant and ignorant after 5 years of a friendship?? it made me question a million things and i literally was a mess for awhile. in the midst of this mess, another friend of mine, who im not that close to said "god.. ure acting like J".
and suddenly this light went off in my brain. OMG J.. i remember when he was distraught and a mess after his breakup. i tried to be there for him as long as i could - but then one day i snapped, thinking he wasnt there for me when i needed him - why should i do it now. why should be there for him. i said mean things and well just added fuel to the fire. me and j - we were close. so then i thought - geez, i was a bitch back then. yea he wasnt there for me when i needed him to be - but that doesnt mean i ruin things further for him. i didnt have to be there for him, but i also didnt have to create more drama for him. I COULDA NOT DONE THAT. i coulda just walked away or said i needed space or something - instead of ruining things further for him. i know what it feels like not have anyone to go to and have a huge mess to deal with.
so i finally built up the strength, msg'd J and started talking. i thought he would blow up and not want to talk to me. instead he was an angel.. conversed with me and actually had a good conversation. we did talk bout how i hurt him and he hurt me and i think we're on our way to rebuild a friendship. so i guess - everything does happen for a reason...
that ass had to hurt me soo much for me to be lonely and be a mess so that id realize that i once hurt someone when it wasnt necessary. yes J wasnt there for me, but like i said i didnt have to be there for him either. but instead made matters worse - so this experience made me realize the bad i once did and hopefully am undoing it now..
so may be what they say is true - once you break a glass, you can put it back together, but it wont be like it used to be. i think this time - im buying a whole new glass and hopefully building it to be stronger.
apologies when sincere and from the heart - DO WORK. unfinished business always does come to bite you in the ass. hopefully i dont have alot more of it == hahaha, cause i dont know how much more biting i can take.
before i had a crush on him.. or whatever - besides that whole mess - WE WERE FRIENDS. friends for ever - so we both agreed. forever seems soo short eh?
so after all this mess.. i was still looking for a genuine apology and an explanation from my friend. i was soo upset and distraught that its been almost 3 months since the incident and i got nothing. how could one be soo non-chalant and ignorant after 5 years of a friendship?? it made me question a million things and i literally was a mess for awhile. in the midst of this mess, another friend of mine, who im not that close to said "god.. ure acting like J".
and suddenly this light went off in my brain. OMG J.. i remember when he was distraught and a mess after his breakup. i tried to be there for him as long as i could - but then one day i snapped, thinking he wasnt there for me when i needed him - why should i do it now. why should be there for him. i said mean things and well just added fuel to the fire. me and j - we were close. so then i thought - geez, i was a bitch back then. yea he wasnt there for me when i needed him to be - but that doesnt mean i ruin things further for him. i didnt have to be there for him, but i also didnt have to create more drama for him. I COULDA NOT DONE THAT. i coulda just walked away or said i needed space or something - instead of ruining things further for him. i know what it feels like not have anyone to go to and have a huge mess to deal with.
so i finally built up the strength, msg'd J and started talking. i thought he would blow up and not want to talk to me. instead he was an angel.. conversed with me and actually had a good conversation. we did talk bout how i hurt him and he hurt me and i think we're on our way to rebuild a friendship. so i guess - everything does happen for a reason...
that ass had to hurt me soo much for me to be lonely and be a mess so that id realize that i once hurt someone when it wasnt necessary. yes J wasnt there for me, but like i said i didnt have to be there for him either. but instead made matters worse - so this experience made me realize the bad i once did and hopefully am undoing it now..
so may be what they say is true - once you break a glass, you can put it back together, but it wont be like it used to be. i think this time - im buying a whole new glass and hopefully building it to be stronger.
apologies when sincere and from the heart - DO WORK. unfinished business always does come to bite you in the ass. hopefully i dont have alot more of it == hahaha, cause i dont know how much more biting i can take.
Friday, May 25, 2007
aeoiraoehfad
haha.. i couldnt think of a title for this random post - so there u have it aioaiewajd -- jibberish!!
few things to cover today.
1. i was chilling with friends and randomly mentioned riots in india. one of my friends (white guy) said yea... but its not like terrorism here - 9/11 and all. i stopped .. rephrased what i had to say because what was first gonna come out of my mouth was "how stupid are u to say that".. but what i really said was "go read up on the events and riots in india.. i think u'll beg to differ". then he proceeds to say.. "yea but nothing big like 9/11"
OK YES.. 9/11 was huge.. never had planes run into buildings in india... but what was bout 13 bomblasts that RUINED BOMBAY?? what about the people who were burned alive in the train.. about all the other riots up north by kashmir and punjab and well for that matter every other state. what about all of that. i continued to explain to my friend that yes, no planes had been run into buildlings in the middle of the day, but there were numerous attacks were thousands of ppl die at the end of it all. my friend just couldnt grasp that idea that it could be as big as 9/11
JUST CAUSE ITS NOT ADVERTISED AND BLOWN OUT OF PROPORTION INTO A FREAKING WAR TOWARDS THE WHOLE MIDDLE EAST - DOESNT MEAN THAT IT DOESNT HAPPEN. JUST CAUSE INDIA IS A 3RD WORLD COUNTRY DOESNT MAKE THE LIVES OF THE PPL WHO DIE IN THESE CRAZY RIOTS IN INDIA BE LESS VALUABLE TO THE LIVES OF THE PPL WHO DIED IN 9/11. do not get me wrong, i understand that 9/11 was huge, but those things happen in india.. all the time - may be not as huge or may be bigger, but just cause we dont go raginng a war towards all the muslims in pakistan and the middle east, doesnt mean its not valuable. sorry - it was pissy that some people could just not understand that. may be i didnt do as good of a job, cause well i dont read up on all the riots and i havent kept count. but it was shitty.. or may be these people are just sheltered.
im not saying that bad things dont or didnt happen here. im just saying they happen in india all the time.. respect that.. realize that and be aware of the fact that riots and bombblasts are killing ppl every day somewhere. sometimes i think americans live in this bubble where outside of their world nothing exists.. sorry for being pretentious...
2. this is soo completely different and on a much lighter note. i helped my friend move to the city today. omg.. first of all she lives in this apt thingie.. as soon as you enter... there's 15 stairs to get to the living room and 15 more stairs to get her bedroom. all stairs are steep and curvy. I HAULED SHIT UP THOSE 30 STAIRS.. MADE LIKE 6 TRIPS. this annoying weather.. they didnt even have the air on. she was soo pissed that her roomie turned off the air. i almost had an asthma attack. although after all the moving, we went out and got something to eat and had nice cold BEER ..hmmm beer. as i sat there in the beer garden, i was amazed at the cute men that were there. infact, i was amazed at the amount of men that were there period. lol in the suburbs all u see is families and couples. lord i miss the city life.... or the single life for that matter. i remember being at niu and always finding hot men to look at. living in the suburbs has killed my apetite for sheer HOTNESS. today it was reignited and i promised my self that atleast twice every month i shall give my self a dose of YUMMINESS!!
3. so i spoke to that guy.. it was a normal conversation -- just the usual how are u.. everythings fine.. hows life.. blah blah. we conversed for about 20 minutes.. and clearly he didnt say anything about anything. soooo sad!! -- shall keep u guys updated!!
few things to cover today.
1. i was chilling with friends and randomly mentioned riots in india. one of my friends (white guy) said yea... but its not like terrorism here - 9/11 and all. i stopped .. rephrased what i had to say because what was first gonna come out of my mouth was "how stupid are u to say that".. but what i really said was "go read up on the events and riots in india.. i think u'll beg to differ". then he proceeds to say.. "yea but nothing big like 9/11"
OK YES.. 9/11 was huge.. never had planes run into buildings in india... but what was bout 13 bomblasts that RUINED BOMBAY?? what about the people who were burned alive in the train.. about all the other riots up north by kashmir and punjab and well for that matter every other state. what about all of that. i continued to explain to my friend that yes, no planes had been run into buildlings in the middle of the day, but there were numerous attacks were thousands of ppl die at the end of it all. my friend just couldnt grasp that idea that it could be as big as 9/11
JUST CAUSE ITS NOT ADVERTISED AND BLOWN OUT OF PROPORTION INTO A FREAKING WAR TOWARDS THE WHOLE MIDDLE EAST - DOESNT MEAN THAT IT DOESNT HAPPEN. JUST CAUSE INDIA IS A 3RD WORLD COUNTRY DOESNT MAKE THE LIVES OF THE PPL WHO DIE IN THESE CRAZY RIOTS IN INDIA BE LESS VALUABLE TO THE LIVES OF THE PPL WHO DIED IN 9/11. do not get me wrong, i understand that 9/11 was huge, but those things happen in india.. all the time - may be not as huge or may be bigger, but just cause we dont go raginng a war towards all the muslims in pakistan and the middle east, doesnt mean its not valuable. sorry - it was pissy that some people could just not understand that. may be i didnt do as good of a job, cause well i dont read up on all the riots and i havent kept count. but it was shitty.. or may be these people are just sheltered.
im not saying that bad things dont or didnt happen here. im just saying they happen in india all the time.. respect that.. realize that and be aware of the fact that riots and bombblasts are killing ppl every day somewhere. sometimes i think americans live in this bubble where outside of their world nothing exists.. sorry for being pretentious...
2. this is soo completely different and on a much lighter note. i helped my friend move to the city today. omg.. first of all she lives in this apt thingie.. as soon as you enter... there's 15 stairs to get to the living room and 15 more stairs to get her bedroom. all stairs are steep and curvy. I HAULED SHIT UP THOSE 30 STAIRS.. MADE LIKE 6 TRIPS. this annoying weather.. they didnt even have the air on. she was soo pissed that her roomie turned off the air. i almost had an asthma attack. although after all the moving, we went out and got something to eat and had nice cold BEER ..hmmm beer. as i sat there in the beer garden, i was amazed at the cute men that were there. infact, i was amazed at the amount of men that were there period. lol in the suburbs all u see is families and couples. lord i miss the city life.... or the single life for that matter. i remember being at niu and always finding hot men to look at. living in the suburbs has killed my apetite for sheer HOTNESS. today it was reignited and i promised my self that atleast twice every month i shall give my self a dose of YUMMINESS!!
3. so i spoke to that guy.. it was a normal conversation -- just the usual how are u.. everythings fine.. hows life.. blah blah. we conversed for about 20 minutes.. and clearly he didnt say anything about anything. soooo sad!! -- shall keep u guys updated!!
Thursday, May 24, 2007
EGOTISTICAL OR ATTENTION WHORE?
hmmm am i egotistical or an attention whore.. well u decide. hahahaha
NADIM did kinda hit jackpot with his comment. although its not about the ego u know. well fuck, who am i kidding - it is. so i like having the upper hand in situations, it gives you advantage. doesnt make me a egotistical bitch does it??? i dont think so, but then again im a biased judge. i think i have a healthy dose of ego, and you know i wouldnt even call it ego, i would call it "flourshing self confidence" .. yes yes thats it. hahahaha
curiosity also plays a part in it. i heard it thru the grapevine that he likes me and is probably gonna ask me out.. so why hasnt he?? did he say it like he was kidding or was it for real? whats stopping him then.. why hasnt heee??
and well this i am willing to admit and shout off the moutain tops I AM ATTENTION WHORE. what girl isnt? even if a butt ugly guy approaches you, it boosts your ego.. it gives you a healthy burst of ''OO I LOOK GOOD TONITE".. u know? admit it -- it does. it makes you feel better that someone noticed you, even if it was just a nobody. well, im not talking about clubs. clubs are filled with desperate creeps, and when one approaches me, i just run away, unless ofcourse he's HOT. yes, hot ppl can be creeps, but atleast he's good to look at.
so when i found out that this kid might ask me out.. well i've been waiting for that ATTENTION.. i havent gotten it yet.
helloooooooooooo
by him making me wait.. i keep thinking about it. i keep replaying that situation in my head ... i keep thinking about all the interactions and thinking.. and now DAMN IT .. IM NOT SURE ... argh!!!! now its plainly the CURIOSITY THATS KILLING ME.
THAT IF HE REALLY LIKED ME THE WAY HE SAID HE DID -- THEN WHY HASNT HE ASKED ME OUT YET.. i havent told anyone who knows him i would say NO. soo hmm what is really stopping him??? the curiosity is KILLING ME and when i mean killing, i mean i just wanna go up to him and be like "excuse dude.. wtf"
and i dont mind being an attetion whore.. hahahaha im actually quite ok with it =) ive always been an attention whore since i was a baby. i used to cry until someone picked me up and im spoiled.. and im proud to be too =)
NADIM did kinda hit jackpot with his comment. although its not about the ego u know. well fuck, who am i kidding - it is. so i like having the upper hand in situations, it gives you advantage. doesnt make me a egotistical bitch does it??? i dont think so, but then again im a biased judge. i think i have a healthy dose of ego, and you know i wouldnt even call it ego, i would call it "flourshing self confidence" .. yes yes thats it. hahahaha
curiosity also plays a part in it. i heard it thru the grapevine that he likes me and is probably gonna ask me out.. so why hasnt he?? did he say it like he was kidding or was it for real? whats stopping him then.. why hasnt heee??
and well this i am willing to admit and shout off the moutain tops I AM ATTENTION WHORE. what girl isnt? even if a butt ugly guy approaches you, it boosts your ego.. it gives you a healthy burst of ''OO I LOOK GOOD TONITE".. u know? admit it -- it does. it makes you feel better that someone noticed you, even if it was just a nobody. well, im not talking about clubs. clubs are filled with desperate creeps, and when one approaches me, i just run away, unless ofcourse he's HOT. yes, hot ppl can be creeps, but atleast he's good to look at.
so when i found out that this kid might ask me out.. well i've been waiting for that ATTENTION.. i havent gotten it yet.
helloooooooooooo
by him making me wait.. i keep thinking about it. i keep replaying that situation in my head ... i keep thinking about all the interactions and thinking.. and now DAMN IT .. IM NOT SURE ... argh!!!! now its plainly the CURIOSITY THATS KILLING ME.
THAT IF HE REALLY LIKED ME THE WAY HE SAID HE DID -- THEN WHY HASNT HE ASKED ME OUT YET.. i havent told anyone who knows him i would say NO. soo hmm what is really stopping him??? the curiosity is KILLING ME and when i mean killing, i mean i just wanna go up to him and be like "excuse dude.. wtf"
and i dont mind being an attetion whore.. hahahaha im actually quite ok with it =) ive always been an attention whore since i was a baby. i used to cry until someone picked me up and im spoiled.. and im proud to be too =)
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
mumbo jumbo
thoughts are running amock in my brain. i was actually talking to a friend and i started the conversation with "what if.. and kept going and going" and my friend interupts me and says "whoaaa... wait a min, what is going on.. start from the top and slow"...
its not a big deal but it is.. and here i go again, talking and not making sense. MUMBO JUMBO.. hahaha
phew.. ok so im waiting waiting to hear from someone. but even if he asks me out - i know im going to say NO. but the fact that he has not said a word - makes me angry, even though i'll say no.
HOW WEIRD IS THAT? I HATE THAT WAIT... even though the outcome is gonna be a NO, but the fact that it hasnt happened makes me angry. its not the anticipation - i already know my answer, its that im sitting here waiting for him to ask me - makes me mad. no, its not that i want to get it over with, because then i'd just approach him and say "i dont think so sweet heart, dont even try".
but ahhh
does any one know what im talkin about?? its not the anticipation, its not the butterflies - cause im gonna say no. then why am i soo mad cause he hasnt asked? its the wait that makes me angry
i know its all mumbo jumbo to you too.. sadly --
its not a big deal but it is.. and here i go again, talking and not making sense. MUMBO JUMBO.. hahaha
phew.. ok so im waiting waiting to hear from someone. but even if he asks me out - i know im going to say NO. but the fact that he has not said a word - makes me angry, even though i'll say no.
HOW WEIRD IS THAT? I HATE THAT WAIT... even though the outcome is gonna be a NO, but the fact that it hasnt happened makes me angry. its not the anticipation - i already know my answer, its that im sitting here waiting for him to ask me - makes me mad. no, its not that i want to get it over with, because then i'd just approach him and say "i dont think so sweet heart, dont even try".
but ahhh
does any one know what im talkin about?? its not the anticipation, its not the butterflies - cause im gonna say no. then why am i soo mad cause he hasnt asked? its the wait that makes me angry
i know its all mumbo jumbo to you too.. sadly --
Monday, May 21, 2007
MY SUPER SWEET 16
WHAT AN ANNOYING DISGUSTING DISPLAY OF MONEY. omg let me just put it out there, I thought i was spoiled on my 16th b'day when my sister bought me a saphire ring, my cousin came over to wish my happy b'day, my mom made an phenominal dinner and my parents gave me some money to shop and i got a job with a driving permit.
oh BUT that is just petty.. who wants that?
MY SUPER SWEET 16 - a show on MTV, broadcasting how annoying spoiled these little brats are. one girl flew out to paris for one day, in a private jet to shop for a dress. her dress was over 15,000 dollars and fought with her dad to give her money to shop for jewelry. EXCUSE ME? a dress for 15,000 dollars.. how about just take that damn 5,000 and donate it to something. pick a cause, any cause, battered women, abused children, molested people, starving kids, destroyed homes..
oh but the spoiled brat wanted diamond tiara..
another girl wanted a "winter wonderland theme" -- her invitations were frozen into blocks of ice and the ice had to thrown on the sidewalk for the invitation to break loose. SHE HAD A MONEY MACHINE at her party -- yes you read it right..
a machine that blew REAL freaking dollars into air and you can stand in there for a minute and catch as many bills as you could. the machine was called 'DADDY'S MONEY" .. oh lord excuse me - its pathetic, its actually DISGUSTING.
another girl treated a fashion designer like he was her servant, like he was beneath her. she said "ure my bitch and you do what i tell you to". WTF? yes so ure mother paid me to get you ready, but no where in the contract did it say you can belittle me????? does money really give you the power to be so superior to someone that you can "own" someone?
i was disgusted... i watched 3 episodes.. all three girls DEMANDED A CAR. one got a chayene, porche, the other got a lexus hard top convertible and the last one got a lamborghini. A FUCKING LAMBORGHINI.. for a 16th b'day. do any of these girls have a license??? HELL NO.
what did i drive when i was 16? hahahaha a 1980 corsica, it didnt even have adjustable seats and i was short so i had to drive it with a pillow under my butt. i was soo happy to even start that damn car, i used to run down and beg my dad to let me just start it. these girls demanded expensive cars most people dream to own one day. demanded, not even asked.
super stars like chris brown and ne-yo and ludacris were asked to perform, cause well it would be uncool if anyone else performed.
THE FACT THAT DISGUSTS ME IS THAT THE PARENTS CONDONE IT.. THEY ARE OK WITH IT. its one thing to struggle to earn money and not want your kids to feel that way, and pamper them, may be spoil them a little. BUT its a whole another thing to let them spoil rotten like this. none of these kids know the value of a dollar. the lamboghini is over a 100,000 for one car+100,000 to book a celeb+another whatever spend on hiring hair dressers, make up artists, clothes, jewelry, room and elaborate invitations and what not..
the whole party they spend over 300,000 on -- donate 1/3 of that .. just that.. forget 1/3, donate even a freaking 5,000 and thousands of lives will be saved.
disgusting, how a 16 year old DEMANDS SUCH THINGS. what will happen when daddy's money is gone?????????????????
what then????
people like paris hilton further enhance the making of such super annoying brats. they make being STUPID COOL.. hahahaha pathetic how stupid is cool. how a moron blonde's lack of words and repitition of the same phrase "thats hot" caught on soo much that she had a patton on it.
AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
what is this world coming down to..
oh BUT that is just petty.. who wants that?
MY SUPER SWEET 16 - a show on MTV, broadcasting how annoying spoiled these little brats are. one girl flew out to paris for one day, in a private jet to shop for a dress. her dress was over 15,000 dollars and fought with her dad to give her money to shop for jewelry. EXCUSE ME? a dress for 15,000 dollars.. how about just take that damn 5,000 and donate it to something. pick a cause, any cause, battered women, abused children, molested people, starving kids, destroyed homes..
oh but the spoiled brat wanted diamond tiara..
another girl wanted a "winter wonderland theme" -- her invitations were frozen into blocks of ice and the ice had to thrown on the sidewalk for the invitation to break loose. SHE HAD A MONEY MACHINE at her party -- yes you read it right..
a machine that blew REAL freaking dollars into air and you can stand in there for a minute and catch as many bills as you could. the machine was called 'DADDY'S MONEY" .. oh lord excuse me - its pathetic, its actually DISGUSTING.
another girl treated a fashion designer like he was her servant, like he was beneath her. she said "ure my bitch and you do what i tell you to". WTF? yes so ure mother paid me to get you ready, but no where in the contract did it say you can belittle me????? does money really give you the power to be so superior to someone that you can "own" someone?
i was disgusted... i watched 3 episodes.. all three girls DEMANDED A CAR. one got a chayene, porche, the other got a lexus hard top convertible and the last one got a lamborghini. A FUCKING LAMBORGHINI.. for a 16th b'day. do any of these girls have a license??? HELL NO.
what did i drive when i was 16? hahahaha a 1980 corsica, it didnt even have adjustable seats and i was short so i had to drive it with a pillow under my butt. i was soo happy to even start that damn car, i used to run down and beg my dad to let me just start it. these girls demanded expensive cars most people dream to own one day. demanded, not even asked.
super stars like chris brown and ne-yo and ludacris were asked to perform, cause well it would be uncool if anyone else performed.
THE FACT THAT DISGUSTS ME IS THAT THE PARENTS CONDONE IT.. THEY ARE OK WITH IT. its one thing to struggle to earn money and not want your kids to feel that way, and pamper them, may be spoil them a little. BUT its a whole another thing to let them spoil rotten like this. none of these kids know the value of a dollar. the lamboghini is over a 100,000 for one car+100,000 to book a celeb+another whatever spend on hiring hair dressers, make up artists, clothes, jewelry, room and elaborate invitations and what not..
the whole party they spend over 300,000 on -- donate 1/3 of that .. just that.. forget 1/3, donate even a freaking 5,000 and thousands of lives will be saved.
disgusting, how a 16 year old DEMANDS SUCH THINGS. what will happen when daddy's money is gone?????????????????
what then????
people like paris hilton further enhance the making of such super annoying brats. they make being STUPID COOL.. hahahaha pathetic how stupid is cool. how a moron blonde's lack of words and repitition of the same phrase "thats hot" caught on soo much that she had a patton on it.
AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
what is this world coming down to..
Sunday, May 20, 2007
creepppyyy
ok so the creepy dreams continue..
i had a dream that i was in the hospital and some friends were visiting me and we were in the gift shop for some reason
and i was eating a huge i mean humongous NEPHRON. now for those of you who dont know what that is, its the working part of you kidney and not visible to the naked eye upon disection of the kidney.
then somehow my friends convinced me that i was ok for discharge so i went on my merry way. apparantly on my way out i stepped on something and that thing hit me in the head (like the cartoons) and i fell.
then i woke up back in the hospital with people holding me down and restraining me as the put on a FOLEY CATHETER. OMG -- for those of you who have never had that done (i have never had that done, but ive seen it) or seen it its extremely painful. i mean a tube up in any hole is horrible, let alone that one. horribleee
i woke up completely scared and creeped out. oy ve, someone attempt at explaining this bizzare dream cause seirously this one is past my imagination.
i had a dream that i was in the hospital and some friends were visiting me and we were in the gift shop for some reason
and i was eating a huge i mean humongous NEPHRON. now for those of you who dont know what that is, its the working part of you kidney and not visible to the naked eye upon disection of the kidney.
then somehow my friends convinced me that i was ok for discharge so i went on my merry way. apparantly on my way out i stepped on something and that thing hit me in the head (like the cartoons) and i fell.
then i woke up back in the hospital with people holding me down and restraining me as the put on a FOLEY CATHETER. OMG -- for those of you who have never had that done (i have never had that done, but ive seen it) or seen it its extremely painful. i mean a tube up in any hole is horrible, let alone that one. horribleee
i woke up completely scared and creeped out. oy ve, someone attempt at explaining this bizzare dream cause seirously this one is past my imagination.
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
bells of joy or from hell!
***update on the hot make out dream. so i couldnt resist but to figure out what the guy's been up to. so i relied on my womanly stalker instincts and went around the internet looking for something... in my search i came across his profile on a website like myspace and such
and there it was
status: MARRIED. (tan tan tan). oh lord.. what is with everyone getting married early. seriously, i am at a loss of friends right now cause everyone i call is busy planning an engagement party or doing something WEDDING RELATED.
everytime i call a girl friend.. i get stormed with Q's like is teal really bad for brides maids dresses if the wedding was in october or since its in october should i go with a fallish or winterish color. OR better yet, i get stormed with Q's like is 200 ppl enough or should i make it 250, but then the per plate charge will go down, but blah blah blah
or the worse part is the whining about how busy they are and how the guy's not cooperating or what not.
everytime i call a guy friend i get stuck listening to things like "can you believe it i had tennis that was sacred to me.. and now she's taking tennis lessons so once we get married we can SHARE THAT too" ..or the best yet "do you think i can fart in front of her.. i should be able to right?" or even worse "can i go to the bathroom while she's doing her makeup, is that allowed"
i just want to yell I DONT FUCKING KNOW.. I JUST CALLED TO SEE IF U WANTED TO HAVE A FREAKING COFFEE! i dont know about china patterns, i dont know about save the freaking date cards or what the latest idea is and MY NOTION OF A FUN NIGHT IS NOT HAND MAKING ANY DAMN INVITATIONS TO ANY DAMN SHOWER.
omg .. i am soo irritated with these stupid annoying ppl getting married. do it on ure own freaking time.. i am standing up in two weddings and im annoyed already. i have to go to all these meetings and match nail polish's, shoes and my dress with 4 other ppl.
excuse me.. did u just tell me that 2 coats of coral blue from loreal is the nail polish im supposed to have on?
did that just happen ... someone slap me back to freaking reality because last i checked these are my nails and i will damn well put on any nail polish as i please!
sorry.. just needed to vent. lately i dont know whats going on but marriage and married ppl have been eating away at everything that is holy and sane in my life. you guys think im exaggerating? i have 14 freaking weddings to attend by the end of 2008. im standing up in 2 this year and 2 next year.. but i have to attend 'em all and deal with all the mess that comes with.
right now i know about 3 other single ppl.. and i love them to death for being single. so seriously, im not exaggerating.. i promise im not.
and there it was
status: MARRIED. (tan tan tan). oh lord.. what is with everyone getting married early. seriously, i am at a loss of friends right now cause everyone i call is busy planning an engagement party or doing something WEDDING RELATED.
everytime i call a girl friend.. i get stormed with Q's like is teal really bad for brides maids dresses if the wedding was in october or since its in october should i go with a fallish or winterish color. OR better yet, i get stormed with Q's like is 200 ppl enough or should i make it 250, but then the per plate charge will go down, but blah blah blah
or the worse part is the whining about how busy they are and how the guy's not cooperating or what not.
everytime i call a guy friend i get stuck listening to things like "can you believe it i had tennis that was sacred to me.. and now she's taking tennis lessons so once we get married we can SHARE THAT too" ..or the best yet "do you think i can fart in front of her.. i should be able to right?" or even worse "can i go to the bathroom while she's doing her makeup, is that allowed"
i just want to yell I DONT FUCKING KNOW.. I JUST CALLED TO SEE IF U WANTED TO HAVE A FREAKING COFFEE! i dont know about china patterns, i dont know about save the freaking date cards or what the latest idea is and MY NOTION OF A FUN NIGHT IS NOT HAND MAKING ANY DAMN INVITATIONS TO ANY DAMN SHOWER.
omg .. i am soo irritated with these stupid annoying ppl getting married. do it on ure own freaking time.. i am standing up in two weddings and im annoyed already. i have to go to all these meetings and match nail polish's, shoes and my dress with 4 other ppl.
excuse me.. did u just tell me that 2 coats of coral blue from loreal is the nail polish im supposed to have on?
did that just happen ... someone slap me back to freaking reality because last i checked these are my nails and i will damn well put on any nail polish as i please!
sorry.. just needed to vent. lately i dont know whats going on but marriage and married ppl have been eating away at everything that is holy and sane in my life. you guys think im exaggerating? i have 14 freaking weddings to attend by the end of 2008. im standing up in 2 this year and 2 next year.. but i have to attend 'em all and deal with all the mess that comes with.
right now i know about 3 other single ppl.. and i love them to death for being single. so seriously, im not exaggerating.. i promise im not.
Monday, May 14, 2007
how suitable are you?
with most of my friends on the verge of getting married and my sister's infamous operation HANGMAN.. i have heard about billion possible guy/girl suitors for my friends/sister. today, just today i heard my mother say "he's a good straight forward guy without any bad habits." and i over heard my mother brag about my sister saying "oh yea, she's a good sedhi sadhi girl and she's never had non-vegetarian food, and no bad habits"
so with all the things that families look for in a SUITABLE GIRL.. i wondered if i would be a suitable girl... lets have a LOOKIE HERE!!!
1. slim girl - hahaha well im a healthy girl who doesnt obsess about being skinny. some traditional indians might call me FAT. so -100 for me
2. pure jain, goes to the temple, believes in god and doesnt eat meat = hmm in the past 3 years ive been to the temple 2 times, i don't really believe in god and I EAT MEAT ... -3000 for me. what oh insanity, i ate meat (insert face with jaw falling out) what a SIN that is, reserves a seat for me straight in hell. never mind the child molesters or people who kill others - me eating a peice of chicken is worse!!
3. doesnt drink or smoke - ive tried cigarettes, and i didnt like 'em... i love my beer and jeager and tequila too much to not ever have it - 200 for me. suddenly the label 'alcoholic' would be attached to my name and my "biodata" would be send to the recycling bin. hahaha
4. monogamous - well that would mean that the guy i marry is the ONLY ONE IVE KISSED and im not saying im a whore, but ive had 2 long term relationships so thats atleast 2 guys too many
-5000 for me. OMG, could you believe what a horrible girl i would be that two other men were with me and it didnt work out? there would be "ahh and oohhs" everywhere... what a UN PURE girl i am? who will accept this "tainted" girl -- oh my oh my!!
5. doesnt go to those "horrible" clubs and bars and dancing with those guys all close. hmm
- 10,000 for me. "rubbing against those unholy boys and girls.. omg soo promiscuous".. yes yes the "slut" title would be put behind my name and again in the recycle bin..
6. respects elders, doesnt talk back and etc... well i do, but i will stand up for my self and most people dont like that already so i'll go ahead and say -100 for me.
7. i have friends that are not all indian and yes i curse and OMG i wear tank tops, gives me the title of "americanized and non-traditional, ill mannered and disrespectful" ahh labeling and judging, how i love thee.
hahaha.. its soo weird, all these things are normal but when parents are trying to fix you up with someone else - these things turn into a big "dark" spot on your supposed resume. here's the WORSE PART - whether you are suitable or not is judged based upon these trifle things. no where was there an effort to actually get to know YOU. your personality has no room when it comes down to picking a potential suitor. other than my "citizenship status" there's nothing appealing to me on my biodata for potential parents of boys. I AM THANKFUL FOR THAT..
its not like you're trying to date someone, its like your're applying for a job and you're judged on a piece of paper. once you find 3 or 4 potential candidates you set up an interview, ask some pertinent Q's and decide based on an hour meeting if this guy's good enough. so i guess just like how i tweak my job responsibilities like "filing and copying" to "management and logging of data". just makes me sound more important eh?
here's some of the tweaking id have to do to make me SUITABLE enough.. lol atleast till the first meeting hahahaha...
so i like non-vegetarian food.. i would put on my biodata - im a connoisseur of food
i like drinking - i would put on my biodata - i like to try new things
i like going out/dancing/drinking and etc- i would put i am culturally sound and adventurous.
hahaha.. well the consensus is i am not suitable and im very glad about it.
so with all the things that families look for in a SUITABLE GIRL.. i wondered if i would be a suitable girl... lets have a LOOKIE HERE!!!
1. slim girl - hahaha well im a healthy girl who doesnt obsess about being skinny. some traditional indians might call me FAT. so -100 for me
2. pure jain, goes to the temple, believes in god and doesnt eat meat = hmm in the past 3 years ive been to the temple 2 times, i don't really believe in god and I EAT MEAT ... -3000 for me. what oh insanity, i ate meat (insert face with jaw falling out) what a SIN that is, reserves a seat for me straight in hell. never mind the child molesters or people who kill others - me eating a peice of chicken is worse!!
3. doesnt drink or smoke - ive tried cigarettes, and i didnt like 'em... i love my beer and jeager and tequila too much to not ever have it - 200 for me. suddenly the label 'alcoholic' would be attached to my name and my "biodata" would be send to the recycling bin. hahaha
4. monogamous - well that would mean that the guy i marry is the ONLY ONE IVE KISSED and im not saying im a whore, but ive had 2 long term relationships so thats atleast 2 guys too many
-5000 for me. OMG, could you believe what a horrible girl i would be that two other men were with me and it didnt work out? there would be "ahh and oohhs" everywhere... what a UN PURE girl i am? who will accept this "tainted" girl -- oh my oh my!!
5. doesnt go to those "horrible" clubs and bars and dancing with those guys all close. hmm
- 10,000 for me. "rubbing against those unholy boys and girls.. omg soo promiscuous".. yes yes the "slut" title would be put behind my name and again in the recycle bin..
6. respects elders, doesnt talk back and etc... well i do, but i will stand up for my self and most people dont like that already so i'll go ahead and say -100 for me.
7. i have friends that are not all indian and yes i curse and OMG i wear tank tops, gives me the title of "americanized and non-traditional, ill mannered and disrespectful" ahh labeling and judging, how i love thee.
hahaha.. its soo weird, all these things are normal but when parents are trying to fix you up with someone else - these things turn into a big "dark" spot on your supposed resume. here's the WORSE PART - whether you are suitable or not is judged based upon these trifle things. no where was there an effort to actually get to know YOU. your personality has no room when it comes down to picking a potential suitor. other than my "citizenship status" there's nothing appealing to me on my biodata for potential parents of boys. I AM THANKFUL FOR THAT..
its not like you're trying to date someone, its like your're applying for a job and you're judged on a piece of paper. once you find 3 or 4 potential candidates you set up an interview, ask some pertinent Q's and decide based on an hour meeting if this guy's good enough. so i guess just like how i tweak my job responsibilities like "filing and copying" to "management and logging of data". just makes me sound more important eh?
here's some of the tweaking id have to do to make me SUITABLE enough.. lol atleast till the first meeting hahahaha...
so i like non-vegetarian food.. i would put on my biodata - im a connoisseur of food
i like drinking - i would put on my biodata - i like to try new things
i like going out/dancing/drinking and etc- i would put i am culturally sound and adventurous.
hahaha.. well the consensus is i am not suitable and im very glad about it.
Friday, May 11, 2007
so this post is completely random and i doubt it has a meaning..
first of all today was my last day at my clinical - 10 weeks, DONE! POOF, and im done. im one more step closer to being a physical therapist. i definitely met alot of interesting characters..
people who stick one concept like this patient who i taught to walk
"walker, surgical leg and the other leg". the person would say "walker first?" ... yes mam, the walker goes first. the person says "ok walker first."
moves the walker - "then what?" ok now move the surgical leg.. "ok surgical leg now" . yes mam surgical leg. the person says "ok surgical leg". moves surgical leg.. the person says "then what?"
ok now move the other leg. "ok so now the other leg right?" .. yes mam the other leg moves now. "the person says OK NOW WHAT".
SO I DID THIS CONVERSATION 125 TIMES FOR 125 FEET. WHO WOULDA THOUGHT I WAS THIS PATIENT.
OR like people me: "do not lean backwards" ... pt: "well i am not leaning forward". me:"ok,but just dont lean backward". pt:"i will not lean forward". me:"sir i am telling you to not lean backward... its ok if u dont want to lean forward". pt:"i dont want to lean backward"... and battle continues
OR people who love to make excuses like "oh i just came back from a walk". me: i just spoke to your nurse, i dont think you went for a walk". pt: "what do they know". me:"well sir, i dont think the nurse would miss a WHOLE person walking.... and THIS IS COMING FROM A PATIENT WHO HAS NEVER GOTTEN OUT OF BED. creative eh??
then there's the EXTREMELY RUDE ONES.. which i wont bother mention.... regardless of all the different random personalities but its not always fun and games..
sadly, at the hospital the worse thing that can happen is not a delayed discharge but an early one towards death. i have seen many of my patients, up and walking one day and well in the ICU the next. makes you really happy for what you have now...
i know i know.. all sappy and stuff, but it is the truth. BUT steering away from that, cause thats everyday life and i cant dwell on it cause if i do, i cant do my job objectively. when people dont do their jobs objectively, slip ups like the virginia tech massacre happen.
regardless, IM DONE WITH MY 10 WEEKS. on another more lighter note, I had the most bizzarre dream i have ever had and sorry if this sounds all too girly and sort of along the lines of "omg like this happpened" (in a very annoying blonde tone).
so get this.. in my dream i was in a classroom, located in india (all my dreams are located in india for some odd reason) but the teacher was my teacher from grad school here. suddently my classmate, again one from when i went to school in india.. she starts giving my teacher a lapdance. OH YES, i said it.. a lapdance. suddenly the scene shifts to one of my friends (again one from india) bringing around a limo and my friends (from undergrad in chicago) and i get in. weird eh? mixing of the two worlds in my dream.. but whatever - so we all get in the limo and go to this club. we're all sitting at this weird round table and this one chick comes up and asks me WHY I DIDNT FINISH MY FOOD AND GETS UP ALL IN MY GRILL. so im trying to tell her to back off and with my temper that coulda gotten ugly - then the guy sitting next to me, who was my friend freshman year of college (5 years ago) says to me "hey u handeled that really well.. " and all of a sudden there's a close up in my dream and we're about to kiss. next thing i know we're making out in the bathroom.. then we come out and get in the limo
HOLD THE PHONE HERE PEOPLE -- FIRST OF ALL.. i have seen or talked or heard form this guy in close to 4 years. i dont make out with random ppl in public bathrooms at a bar/club and normally i woulda punched that girl for getting up all in my business. ok ok fine, punch woulda come a little later, but i sure woulda gotten out of my seat and showed her up.
DID I MENTION HOW WEIRDLY RANDOM THAT DREAM WAS??? almost makes me want to contact that old guy friend cause dude that kiss felt GOOOOD IN MY DREAM ;) hehehe
i did say this post would be random.. and well it was.
first of all today was my last day at my clinical - 10 weeks, DONE! POOF, and im done. im one more step closer to being a physical therapist. i definitely met alot of interesting characters..
people who stick one concept like this patient who i taught to walk
"walker, surgical leg and the other leg". the person would say "walker first?" ... yes mam, the walker goes first. the person says "ok walker first."
moves the walker - "then what?" ok now move the surgical leg.. "ok surgical leg now" . yes mam surgical leg. the person says "ok surgical leg". moves surgical leg.. the person says "then what?"
ok now move the other leg. "ok so now the other leg right?" .. yes mam the other leg moves now. "the person says OK NOW WHAT".
SO I DID THIS CONVERSATION 125 TIMES FOR 125 FEET. WHO WOULDA THOUGHT I WAS THIS PATIENT.
OR like people me: "do not lean backwards" ... pt: "well i am not leaning forward". me:"ok,but just dont lean backward". pt:"i will not lean forward". me:"sir i am telling you to not lean backward... its ok if u dont want to lean forward". pt:"i dont want to lean backward"... and battle continues
OR people who love to make excuses like "oh i just came back from a walk". me: i just spoke to your nurse, i dont think you went for a walk". pt: "what do they know". me:"well sir, i dont think the nurse would miss a WHOLE person walking.... and THIS IS COMING FROM A PATIENT WHO HAS NEVER GOTTEN OUT OF BED. creative eh??
then there's the EXTREMELY RUDE ONES.. which i wont bother mention.... regardless of all the different random personalities but its not always fun and games..
sadly, at the hospital the worse thing that can happen is not a delayed discharge but an early one towards death. i have seen many of my patients, up and walking one day and well in the ICU the next. makes you really happy for what you have now...
i know i know.. all sappy and stuff, but it is the truth. BUT steering away from that, cause thats everyday life and i cant dwell on it cause if i do, i cant do my job objectively. when people dont do their jobs objectively, slip ups like the virginia tech massacre happen.
regardless, IM DONE WITH MY 10 WEEKS. on another more lighter note, I had the most bizzarre dream i have ever had and sorry if this sounds all too girly and sort of along the lines of "omg like this happpened" (in a very annoying blonde tone).
so get this.. in my dream i was in a classroom, located in india (all my dreams are located in india for some odd reason) but the teacher was my teacher from grad school here. suddently my classmate, again one from when i went to school in india.. she starts giving my teacher a lapdance. OH YES, i said it.. a lapdance. suddenly the scene shifts to one of my friends (again one from india) bringing around a limo and my friends (from undergrad in chicago) and i get in. weird eh? mixing of the two worlds in my dream.. but whatever - so we all get in the limo and go to this club. we're all sitting at this weird round table and this one chick comes up and asks me WHY I DIDNT FINISH MY FOOD AND GETS UP ALL IN MY GRILL. so im trying to tell her to back off and with my temper that coulda gotten ugly - then the guy sitting next to me, who was my friend freshman year of college (5 years ago) says to me "hey u handeled that really well.. " and all of a sudden there's a close up in my dream and we're about to kiss. next thing i know we're making out in the bathroom.. then we come out and get in the limo
HOLD THE PHONE HERE PEOPLE -- FIRST OF ALL.. i have seen or talked or heard form this guy in close to 4 years. i dont make out with random ppl in public bathrooms at a bar/club and normally i woulda punched that girl for getting up all in my business. ok ok fine, punch woulda come a little later, but i sure woulda gotten out of my seat and showed her up.
DID I MENTION HOW WEIRDLY RANDOM THAT DREAM WAS??? almost makes me want to contact that old guy friend cause dude that kiss felt GOOOOD IN MY DREAM ;) hehehe
i did say this post would be random.. and well it was.
Sunday, May 6, 2007
struck gold
so i struck gold. thanks to trinnie, nadim and sunrise for lovely ideas. i started trying to come up with something different, original and creative with sunrises idea of "madness and memories" and nadim's idea of "chocolatey adventures". so i went digging.. and well here we have it
xocolatl.. my bitter sweet memories.
xocolatl, is really what the aztecs called chocolate. atl really means water, and xocolli mean bitter. chocolate is bitter since it comes from cacao beans and originally chocolate was more used from gravy/drinking purposes than eating hardened bars like we do now. hot chocolate believe it or not was wayyyy more famous back in 17-18oo's than it will ever be now. more info on chocolate/history and stuff click me. i really do love wikipedia.
anyways.. so with this ancient term for chocolate that the lovely aztecs came up with and "bitter sweet memories" i came up with a new name for my blog.
yes, i could use the old name, but since i went through the trouble to start a new blog, id like a clean slate here - hence the new name. hope you guys like it.. =)
secondly, i was at a bar with some friends not too long ago and it wasnt one of those "lets get drunk tonight things". i think ive grown out of that phase.. but regardless as i sat there chatting and catching up with some friends, i turned over and saw this old couple kissing and the other two couples were grinding. automatically i looked to my friends in disgust, cause well there's nothing more disgusting then horny old couples. as we all sat there staring and in awe of what was going on in a local bar ... i started thinking: yes, no doubt it was gross. i dont even like to see young ppl grinding and being up all over each other. im not much into pda, unless ofcourse im drunk. then i dont care what ppl do. i started thinking that even though its gross, THEY ARE HAPPY. they still love each other .. probably after 50 odd years of marriage.. they're still hot for each other. thats rare. i know couples that have dated for 6 months and well the "charm" dies. after 50 years, they still go out, have fun, live life .. love retirement and enjoy each other's company. thats hard to find. so after a while, i didnt stare in disgust cause they were grinding.. i started staring and almost longing what they had..
huh.. weird eh?
xocolatl.. my bitter sweet memories.
xocolatl, is really what the aztecs called chocolate. atl really means water, and xocolli mean bitter. chocolate is bitter since it comes from cacao beans and originally chocolate was more used from gravy/drinking purposes than eating hardened bars like we do now. hot chocolate believe it or not was wayyyy more famous back in 17-18oo's than it will ever be now. more info on chocolate/history and stuff click me. i really do love wikipedia.
anyways.. so with this ancient term for chocolate that the lovely aztecs came up with and "bitter sweet memories" i came up with a new name for my blog.
yes, i could use the old name, but since i went through the trouble to start a new blog, id like a clean slate here - hence the new name. hope you guys like it.. =)
secondly, i was at a bar with some friends not too long ago and it wasnt one of those "lets get drunk tonight things". i think ive grown out of that phase.. but regardless as i sat there chatting and catching up with some friends, i turned over and saw this old couple kissing and the other two couples were grinding. automatically i looked to my friends in disgust, cause well there's nothing more disgusting then horny old couples. as we all sat there staring and in awe of what was going on in a local bar ... i started thinking: yes, no doubt it was gross. i dont even like to see young ppl grinding and being up all over each other. im not much into pda, unless ofcourse im drunk. then i dont care what ppl do. i started thinking that even though its gross, THEY ARE HAPPY. they still love each other .. probably after 50 odd years of marriage.. they're still hot for each other. thats rare. i know couples that have dated for 6 months and well the "charm" dies. after 50 years, they still go out, have fun, live life .. love retirement and enjoy each other's company. thats hard to find. so after a while, i didnt stare in disgust cause they were grinding.. i started staring and almost longing what they had..
huh.. weird eh?
Saturday, May 5, 2007
helppp
well here i am.. with a new blog. so why did i shut down the old blog??
well you see, most families get along, look out for each and dont rat on cousins/siblings. MY family - well we're special. if my cousins find this blog the first thing they will print it out, send a link or what not to tell my uncle and aunts about it. we all know aunties and uncles -- its unholy for a young indian girl to have crushes and lust after men. its almost a worse than a sin for a girl to drink and go to a bar. i think someone will faint - and OH MY GOD did she KISS A GUY -- its time hell froze over, skies opened and bursts of hot lava will be falling cause you know the world is about to end. why? but ofcourse all indian girls are supposed to be single and "pure" until the day they get married.
so you see, we're very superficial around my cousins. sadly, there's no trusting in the family, and my paranoid sister got a hint that someone in the family found out about it - so there were only two options -
a) have everyone find out about all my "adventures" and face the music, embarassment and disappoint the parents that IM A HORRIBLE DAUGHTER with bad manners and i have now been "americanized".
b) just start a new site, and make sure family cant find it..
its nice that me and my sister are close, although it took a while for her to trust me and me to trust her. lol, i was the bratty younger sister who took spied on her for juicy secrets and did blurt them out at the right time to advantage MOI. hahaha... but obviously, i am grown up and alot more mature now.
yes, its sad that my family is like that - but its family, i cant pick and chose them, i was born into it. so now you have the lamo reason i changed my site --
BUT I NEED YOUR HELP... my site's name "my adventures ... one day at a time" WAS SOOO PERFECT for my site and my personality and my posts because they are my adventures, one day at a time.. so i need your help coming up with a cool new name. i am shit out of options..
helpp?
well you see, most families get along, look out for each and dont rat on cousins/siblings. MY family - well we're special. if my cousins find this blog the first thing they will print it out, send a link or what not to tell my uncle and aunts about it. we all know aunties and uncles -- its unholy for a young indian girl to have crushes and lust after men. its almost a worse than a sin for a girl to drink and go to a bar. i think someone will faint - and OH MY GOD did she KISS A GUY -- its time hell froze over, skies opened and bursts of hot lava will be falling cause you know the world is about to end. why? but ofcourse all indian girls are supposed to be single and "pure" until the day they get married.
so you see, we're very superficial around my cousins. sadly, there's no trusting in the family, and my paranoid sister got a hint that someone in the family found out about it - so there were only two options -
a) have everyone find out about all my "adventures" and face the music, embarassment and disappoint the parents that IM A HORRIBLE DAUGHTER with bad manners and i have now been "americanized".
b) just start a new site, and make sure family cant find it..
its nice that me and my sister are close, although it took a while for her to trust me and me to trust her. lol, i was the bratty younger sister who took spied on her for juicy secrets and did blurt them out at the right time to advantage MOI. hahaha... but obviously, i am grown up and alot more mature now.
yes, its sad that my family is like that - but its family, i cant pick and chose them, i was born into it. so now you have the lamo reason i changed my site --
BUT I NEED YOUR HELP... my site's name "my adventures ... one day at a time" WAS SOOO PERFECT for my site and my personality and my posts because they are my adventures, one day at a time.. so i need your help coming up with a cool new name. i am shit out of options..
helpp?
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